Incognito Au Pair by Grace Aggrey-Fynn - Drama - To uncover a murderer, fate made her a victim 93 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi Grace - you're not going to like this, but his script needs a lot of work.

You have not got 'into the head' of your characters - they all sound like they are spoken with the same voice.

You sound like you are new to this (forgive me if I'm wrong), but if that is correct - there is lots of information on the web on how to develop your characters and how to give them distinctive voices.

You are also over-using your wrylys - parentheticals - many of them need to be 'pulled' as they are really action descriptions - a wryly is generally used to interpret how a character will say something - and not what they are doing when they say it.

Hope this helps some.