The Secret of Life by Syed Asad Ali (Asad) - Drama -  A young guy left his modern life to a school in the far off mountains claimed to be teaching Secret of Life. On his way he accidently met a Darwish in a shrine and the incident triggered a splendid journey into the very heart of life itself  112 pages - doc, format 8)

Hi Syed - this was very difficult to read - it was quite vague, and a lot of it appeared to be visual and difficult to describe (the bit in the road, with everything rushing past).

During the early stage of the script (the set-up) there should be some attempt to give us an idea of what the stroy is - I didn't really get this.

The formatting was half-way there - the slugs weren't done fully, so that:

INT. Dinning room

should be

INT. ALI'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - DAY.

The chinks of dialogue were to big, and I didn't get a sense that they moved the story forward.

Maybe it would be an idea to take some of this story, self-contain it and post it as a short.

Best o' luck.

Simon

Hey Syed,

For starters, you should post this in a pdf format, that’s the norm. I would also recommend getting a screenwriting program like Celtx which is free I believe.

I found this very hard to follow I’m afraid to say, the formatting is all wrong and the first 5 pages were just confusing?

Your action lines seem too short. The first two were "Talking to a friend" and "Sitting with his friends in a restaurant"

The dialogue on the other hand is too long, also your slugs look all wrong IMO.

Read lots and lots of scripts and participate on the board. I think you will be amazed at much you learn.

Good luck and keep writing.

Steve