I've been reading a bunch of loglines and notices most people don't include character names in their loglines. Is this an unwritten rule that I don't know about? What do you guys think?

I have a script where the title is directly related to the main Character's name and makes more sense if you know his name. Should I include the name in the logline? It definitely flows better without his name in it, but I'm wondering if having a name in the logline is actually frowned upon.

Thanks for the help!

I don't think there is any unwritten rule to say but why mention a name in the logline unless the reader knows who it is.

Why tell us "Dave and Colin are two ordinary guys ready to party but they'll have to get past their greatest challenge yet, starting the car" I made that up on the spot by the way. Did knowing their names matter, of course not, it could have just been "Two guys" or "Two party goers"

On the same note if your title is for example "Forsaking John" I don't think it matters if you mention John in the logline especially as his name is in the title.

That's just my thoughts anyway but I'm new to this. I would actually be interested in what more experienced writers think about this so it's a good question Cinemachado.

Steve

There should be no character names in loglines.  If it's about someone famous and that's a hook, go for it.  But it should be generic.  Not too mention character names are meaningless to the reader and can crowd and confuse the logline.    

Good Luck

Ghostie

Unless we know who it is, don't use names, especially if you're referring to multiple characters.

The lives of three college students go to hell after they stand up the same girl.

is a better logline than

Steve, Michael and Bob's lives go to hell after they stand up Cindy.

By saying they're college students, you tell us more about them than using their names.


Phil

Thanks guys. My title doesn't make sense just by reading the logline, but it makes sense from reading the script. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot because no one likes the title, but I guess that's a risk I'm going to have to take.

Example:

Title:Juliet

Logline: After losing his job due to his sexuality, a gay man enlists the help of a young female attorney to get his justice. He ends up getting more than he bargained for when he begins to develop feelings for her.

vs.

Logline: After losing his job due to his homosexuality, Romeo enlists the help of a young female attorney to get his justice. He ends up getting more than he bargained for when he begins to develop feelings for her.

This is not my logline as I just randomly made it up. My point is. If I don't mention his name in the title, people see no reason to Title it Juliet. My example isn't really like that but I'm just trying to find another way where a character name clarifies the title a bit.

Referring to the main character as 'the gay man' has more impact than referring to him as 'Romeo.'


Phil

I agree. Just didn't know if it created a problem with the name. Same goes with my logline. It's better without the name, but I don't know if that creates an issue with the title. Thanks again for the help!

There are a great many Movie Poet members who also frequent these boards, so be cautious as to how much of your actual logline you disclose here.

I am not exactly sure how Chris handles things like this -- but if your anonymity is compromised over here, he just might give you the boot (from this particular contest) over there...

EDIT:  And please, please, please -- do not include, "...more than he bargained for."

I was very careful in my wording and the example I gave is actually very different from my actual logline. I just had to come up with a way to make a name relevant. In either case, after the suggestions, it will be impossible to tell which is mine. Thanks for the tip though.

EDIT: I always get a laugh out of that phrase. Don't worry. I wouldn't include it in a serious logline.

Quoted from bert EDIT:  And please, please, please -- do not include, "...more than he bargained for."

How about, "Hilarity ensues when..."


Phil

Haha, even better.

Holy crap - proper names in loglines AND "more than he bargained for" in the same thread? Are you guys TRYING to bait me here? Huh, are you? Huh?

Billy needs a girlfriend, but hilarity ensues when he gets more than he bargained for.

Is that good?

Using a common noun over a proper one usually gives more flavor to the logline.
Proper names will rarely deliver that enticement needed to attract folks.

For instance:

Jim can't lie for 24 hours after his estranged son makes a birthday wish.
OR
A trial lawyer can't lie for 24 hours after his estranged son makes a birthday wish.

Which one sounds more like a movie to you? ;)

Hook them with an intriguing premise, don't pigeon hole yourself with details.

E.D.

Here's the worst sort of offender - I cringe when I see this:

"Billy Smith, a small-time drug dealer, yada yada yada..."

It's not an essay for English class - we don't care what the drug dealer's name is at this point....

Using names for sitcoms loglines IMO is appropiate, as it`s about the same characters week in week out.

Mark

The loglines for television shows (actually called taglines, IIRC) can get away with using names because the viewers learn who the characters are and the taglines need to be shorter than loglines.

Otherwise, your TV Guide listing will read:  "As a paleontologist fumbles his best chance to win the waitress' heart, his chef sister dates her boss."


Phil

Oh, shoot! ;D

I should've read this thread before posting my script in. :-/ I'm about 95% sure I used the name of the main character in the logline  :X

But lucky I saw it before I entered the moviepoet contest! But that doesn't matter because my logline sucks hahahah :'(

Mohammad

Hey peeps.

I'm one that always struggles with a one or two sentence log line. I stumbled across this just now and it's really helpful (and a very good read).

Apologies if this has already been linked on another thread, it probably has -- but anyhoo...

http://www.twoadverbs.com/logline.pdf

Log lines are a tease... a hook... not a summery. As I said in another thread. Less is always more