Restoration by Sonya Pinero - Short, Thriller - Consumed by her work, a photo restoration artist begins to see one of her historical subjects in real life.  12 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey Sonya,

You don't have a completed title page. That really sort of jumps out as it is the first thing we see. You also don't have FADE IN: or FADE OUT. on the script. You also want to avoid putting the title of the script on the first page. That's what the title page is for.

You're getting too bogged down in the details. When she drinks her coffee and we see a ring on her finger, don't include "from a failed engagement". That sort of detail is not conveyed on film except through the dialogue. The timing on the dialgue is a bit off and not fluid. It sounds scripted but not in a good way. Try to make it more natural.

Maybe it's because I'm reading this after a long day but it's hard for me to keep everything straight as far as the various men you refer to in the script. It got a bit confusing on who was who and what they wanted. You have slugs at the end that have no description and some that talk about what direction they're heading. That's not really helpful at all. Actually, the whole end sort of dissolves away. There are a lot of typos and repeated sentences. It seems like you rushed to finish.

I think it's an okay start but is in real need of improvement. It wasn't horrible but it's not quite good yet either. Key word is yet.