Heather by Luke Slade (Pshyched) - Short, Horror - Luke, an aspiring Video Blogger, lives a quiet, and ordinary life. Everything is going well, until unsettling things start happening in his apartment.. 25 pages - pdf, format 8)

Ah, a found footage script?  I love these.

Right off the bat, you don't introduce Luke.  I have no idea what age he is or what he's like.
The dialogue needs some work.  Luke seems to explain himself out loud to the camera very often.
"This is going to be great! Now time
to start working on my short film!"
Would you ever really say that to yourself out loud?  It seems unnatural.

You also give Heather dialogue without ever introducing her.  It was jarring; I have no idea where she is or what she looks like.  You're using wrylies all over the place, which slow down the read and will probably piss off your actors.

Page three, you use passive voice.  You can easily change "is sitting" to "sits".

Page six: "ABRUPT OUT:
NOTHING FOR 3 SECONDS
When it Abruptly fades in, you see Luke’s face, right in
front of the camera, just as it comes on he says the
following.
ABRUPT IN"

What's going on here?  It goes out, and there's a description of when it's going to come back in?  How do you abruptly fade in?

Page nine:
"No way man, this shit is
fucked up. I got goosebumps.
Besides, my misses is waiting at
home."

First time I've realized that Luke and Daniel are older.  This paints a very different story in my mind, do you see?  Without a proper intro for the characters, I thought they were around thirteen.  Now one of them has a live-in girlfriend or wife (and still has slumber parties with his adult friends, for some reason.)

Alright, I'm gonna stop there.  I'm interested in the noises and the story, Luke, but your storytelling needs some work.  I won't be able to see your vision until you lay it out clearly for me.

Gage