The Watcher On The Hill by  George Anderson - Short, Sci Fi - On Mars, the hills have eyes. A Martian rover from Earth encounters something on a Martian hillside. Who, or what, is it? 4 pages - pdf, format 8)

G'Day George.

I hope you are around to add to the thread.

I felt the logline did not suck me in that much, even though I do like the odd SciFi movie ??? Who or What is it ? sounds a bit tacky. I felt like I was waiting to see Oprah on the hill (In fact that probably would have been a goer) Hee Hee.

Is this your first screenplay ? As I felt it was.

You need to read more screenplays from this site to learn how to format, your Slugs where wrong, your format was wrong and the action lines need to be written as a visual description of what is happening as well as minimizing them, as it is hard to read.

You also incorporate camera movements and this is a no no, as it is up to the director to work this out.

On a positive note I thing the storyline has potential and just needs some work though it does feel like it should be part of a bigger story.

Maybe download some formatting software and read, read, read more screenplays.

All the best
Alex

Alex, just so you know, Page 1 is not supposed to be numbered.  You begin on Page 2, with "2".

Just an FYI.