Road by Tom Levesque - Short -  A man named Michael walks down an endless road in a desolated bare environment, it is uncertain of his destination. Michael comes across a small forgotten town where he meets some strange individuals, he attempts to leave the town but is met with ambiguous answers about where he is. Michaels visions of his partner disorientate him but help him guide through his journey down this road. Michael soon learns that he shares similarities with these strange people, and begins to learn about himself in the process. A story of self-discovery  through grieving. 22 pages - pdf, format 8)

I'm going to be honest.
You're a great writer. You make some pretty good descriptions.

Unfortunately, at least IMO, this script reads more like a novel.
All your descriptions are long and drawn out.

Even your logline is insanely long.


Screenplay writing should be more condensed. Short. Vivid. Paint your pictures with as few words as possible.

Anyway, look forward to seeing you here on the boards.

A torn barbed fence, stained from the intensity of heat
and neglect, sits on a leaned posture. The fence dances
against the sterile wind, bouncing back between beats.

This wouldn't make a good novel.

Can a wind be sterile? Not too sure if I get that? This is just playing with words.