Star Island by Nitin Bajaj & Jason Ndegwa - Series - Teen Drama- An ultra-wealthy couple from Star Island, Florida, adopt an orphan teen in NYC, after their daughter recently commit suicide.
Pilot: Audrey begins learning to accustom herself to the wealthy society of Star Island and find out the real reason behind why she was adopted. 48 pages - pdf, format 8)

Do you seek to beat us to death with your log-line? You have half succeeded, as I feel suicidal. Can I begin beating myself, now sir?

Look, I'm really sorry, but you just can't describe a disabled child as a 'glass
half-full kind of person' - it's just not not politically correct. Funny. Yes. But for all the wrong reasons.

Regular people. Please don't have a go at me for this until you've read some of it ...

Quoted from Forgive Do you seek to beat us to death with your log-line? You have half succeeded, as I feel suicidal. Can I begin beating myself, now sir?

Oh God. Simon put the wine down!! ;D

Quoted from Forgive Regular people. Please don't have a go at me for this until you've read some of it ...

He's not wrong, though. I feel bad, so I'll see how far I can get.

I'll give it another go, but I didn't get too far last time. Got to try and be fair though ...

My boss is a "glass half-full kind of person" lol

Quoted from Forgive Look, I'm really sorry, but you just can't describe a disabled child as a 'glass half-full kind of person' - it's just not not politically correct. Funny. Yes. But for all the wrong reasons. Regular people. Please don't have a go at me for this until you've read some of it ...

Honestly, if you're going to criticize work, first learn to read properly. Audrey, the main character is a 'glass half-full kind of person' not the disabled girl, Carly. And try to be constructive with your commentary.

I stand corrected TVaddicts. I don't know if you are the author or not.

Constructively, this does need a lot of work doing on it.

In many of the action lines there are unfilmables:

p3. Today is her birthday, but that doesn't matter to her ...
p8. Audrey feels a little shy and nervous hugging Helene.
p11. she closes the door, emotionally saying goodbye to her room

Parentheses are used too liberally, and many of them need pulling back into action lines.

From a Script-writing perspective, the writing style is sometimes unclear:

Audrey walks to the front door of the house. She sees the
mail and picks it up. As she’s walking back to the kitchen,
she looks through the mail. She notices something different;
she received a letter. She puts all the rest of the mail on
the kitchen counter. Linda notices the letter Audrey still
has in her hand.
-- this could be both shortened and made more clear. There is also the implication that there is a location change here, which has not been recognised.

The set-up is a bit vague and take a little too long to get going. I'd have liked it to have started some time around p4 -- we start to get to the point of things there.

Hope this helps some ...