Typical Aussie Bastard

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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Action/Adventure Scripts / Typical Aussie Bastard

Posted by: Don, December 4th, 2012, 10:26am

Typical Aussie Bastard by Al Agolli - Action, Adventure - A conman, agambler and a thief, this time the odds are stacked against him. 99 pages - pdf, format 8)

Posted by: CoopBazinga, December 4th, 2012, 10:39am; Reply: 1

Great title!

I know a few of these. In fact, I deal with plenty of them on a daily basis. ;D

Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), December 4th, 2012, 10:57am; Reply: 2

Quoted from CoopBazinga
Great title!

...but terrible, error infested logline.

Posted by: CoopBazinga, December 5th, 2012, 5:34am; Reply: 3

Quoted from Dreamscale

...but terrible, error infested logline.

I didn't get that far. ;D

But you're correct, it is a bit clumsy.

Al,

Are you around for feedback?

Posted by: coldbug, December 5th, 2012, 6:21pm; Reply: 4

I have tried the first 10 pages.  Here you go:

-i agree with the logline situation.  with your writing skills I believe you sure can turn the logline into a very catchy one.

-most good Action films usually have some sort of excitement during the opening.  You have not done that.  Instead, you fed with dialogues.  They are not bad, but imo, you could recreate something more exciting.  You will get more readers this way.

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