Devil's Elixirs by Johannes Lierfeld - Horror - As a modern day adaptation of german gothic novel classic "The Elixirs of the Devil", the movie tries to answer the questions E.T.A. Hoffmann pointed out 200 years ago. Those questions revolve around identity, the self and its location within the mind and of course (imaginary?) doubles of the self.  108 pages - pdf, format 8)

For some reason, I can't access the file. I think the writer may have forgotten to make it public, or something. However, what I can read is the logline, which hardly turns out to be a logline at all.

First of all, I seriously hope the writer has the necessary permission to write this screenplay. Making book adaptations without permission can see some serious consequences if it's not handled correctly.

Where's the story in that logline?? You mention a book, which I have never read and then you have an acronym "ETA" which I've always translated to "Estimated Time of Arrival". However, it could translate to ANY of the following... "Electronic Travel Authority" "Even Tree Analysis" "Energy Tax Act" or even "Extra Terrestrial Alien". My point is this... Don't use acronyms that most people aren't going to understand in your logline. Some of them are acceptable like CIA or FBI, because those are groups that most people can identify. I have no idea what an "ETA" is, here.

Remember to focus more on the story in a logline, rather than the themes involved. You've explained the questions involved (sort of), but you haven't identified the basic premise of the story, which is what we really want in a logline.

I would give you feedback on the script if I could open it.

Dan

Johannes,

Yeah, either the file isn't public or it's not uploaded right. I can't read it either.

I wouldn't worry too much about adapting a book if you're just posting this online. Enough people post fanfics, after all... but just remember, that's all it is-- a fanfic-- until you secure adaption rights. As long as you aren't selling this or sending it to studios or anything, I think you're fine. Just my two cents... I'm not a lawyer.

Dan, E.T.A. Hoffman is the author's name. Like J.R.R. Tolkien. But I agree the logline isn't good at all. Johannes, don't refer to "this movie", for one. You mention a lot about theme, but you don't give us a story at all. Who's the protagonist? What are his goals?

Hope you're around to fix the file. Read some scripts around here to get feedback in return.

Will

Quoted from crookedowl Dan, E.T.A. Hoffman is the author's name. Like J.R.R. Tolkien.

Whoops! Foot in mouth moment there ;D. Sorry Johannes :)