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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  Rewrite the Cliche
Posted by: M.Alexander, April 6th, 2013, 8:58am


Inspired by Babz Buzz 26 -- take an old cliche and rewrite it.  An example she used from one of her clients' scripts; "Today's the first day of what's left of your life"


Here's a few of my lowly contributions;  

"A bird in the bush is worth a bird in the bush."

"Sin is a hard taskmaster with low pay and lousy benefits."

"This isn't my first day at the rodeo - it's my second."

http://www.gardendigest.com/cliche.htm

Have fun.  
Posted by: AmbitionIsKey, April 6th, 2013, 9:04am; Reply: 1
I feel as free as a turd!

Does that work, lol?
Posted by: M.Alexander, April 6th, 2013, 9:09am; Reply: 2


Quoted from AmbitionIsKey
I feel as free as a turd!

Does that work, lol?


Sure, if you're writing for South Park.   8)

Rewriting a cliche is definitely harder than one might think.
Posted by: bert, April 6th, 2013, 1:06pm; Reply: 3

Quoted from M.Alexander
Rewriting a cliche is definitely harder than one might think.


Be that as it may, I still want to scream everytime I hear a character begin, "Women, can't live with them,..."

Time to retire that one.
Posted by: Bogey, April 6th, 2013, 2:02pm; Reply: 4
The late great Governor Ann Richards had a clever one about W:

"He was born with a silver foot in his mouth."
Posted by: CrusaderVoice, April 7th, 2013, 12:52am; Reply: 5
This isn't original either and I really hate to go profane, especially on a thread MA started, but I can't get this memory of a cliche that got twisted out of my head.

I was the broadcaster for the Toronto Blue Jays AA minor league baseball team in the mid-1990s and on the last day of the season I interviewed the team's manager, Garth Iorg. The team was terrible. We lost 90 games and only won 54...despite the fact that 12 guys eventually played in the major leagues including one Cy Young winner.

I asked Iorg what he learned about leading team through that trying year and he replied (ON THE AIR!):

"Some days you win. Some days you lose. And some days you step in shit."

I with Iorg every day for six months that season. That was only time I heard him use profanity. I managed to kill the mic so the entire profane word didn't air...but it still nearly gave my boss and team's vice president a heart attack.
Posted by: M.Alexander, April 7th, 2013, 10:31am; Reply: 6



Every cloud has a silver linings playbook.
Posted by: RegularJohn, April 10th, 2013, 5:39pm; Reply: 7
Been there, done nothing.

As soon as convenient.

Thinking outside the smaller box.

My rewrites aren't very good either.
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), April 10th, 2013, 6:09pm; Reply: 8

Do unto others before they do unto you

(A whale cliché) You're only as young as you krill

If at first you don't succeed, you're a loser

(A dog cliché) If you can't lick 'em, you must be a girl dog

(A dentist cliché) You can't handle the tooth

Shawn....><
Posted by: Felipe, April 10th, 2013, 6:23pm; Reply: 9

Quoted from bert


Be that as it may, I still want to scream everytime I hear a character begin, "Women, can't live with them,..."

Time to retire that one.


Women, can't live with them...

*silence*
Posted by: DanBall, May 29th, 2013, 12:29pm; Reply: 10
I know a good idea when I steal one.

Smart as a milk carton.
Posted by: Manowar, June 8th, 2013, 1:26am; Reply: 11

Quoted from CrusaderVoice
I asked Iorg what he learned about leading team through that trying year and he replied (ON THE AIR!):

"Some days you win. Some days you lose. And some days you step in shit."



But that's so much better than most coaches/managers offer. The usual "one game at a time" or "it is what is it is" or "backs against the wall" is so total cliche and says nothing. At least you got a funny (and truthful) line out of the guy.
Posted by: Manowar, June 8th, 2013, 1:27am; Reply: 12

Quoted from M.Alexander


Inspired by Babz Buzz 26 -- take an old cliche and rewrite it.  An example she used from one of her clients' scripts; "Today's the first day of what's left of your life"


Here's a few of my lowly contributions;  

"A bird in the bush is worth a bird in the bush."

"Sin is a hard taskmaster with low pay and lousy benefits."

"This isn't my first day at the rodeo - it's my second."

http://www.gardendigest.com/cliche.htm

Have fun.  



Sounds like you're searching for a theme of sorts?

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