Resurrection by Ed Earp - Sci Fi, Fantasy - A troubled commander is put in charge of the biggest angelic war on earth to stop a powerful army of fallen angels taking over the world. 86 pages - pdf, format 8)

I'm extremely put off by your lack of punctuation in this. Often I'm having to read back what I've read and put in the punctuation myself to make it read properly. I couldn't get past page 2 purely because of having to read everything a few times to get what you mean.

Thanks for the reply -- the script has been reviewed a few times no one has ever mentioned the punctuation before.  The screenplay was corrected by a produced screenwriter with thirty years experience.
He has had many scripts produced in the UK and America over the last twenty five years in my opinion he did a great job -- but we are all entitled to our opinion.  If you feel it would help me try to review my script from a story P.O.V this would be more helpful, Thanks.  I will do the same for you.  :)

Quoted from ed The screenplay was corrected by a produced screenwriter with thirty years experience.

If you paid him for these services, demand your money back.

Dustin's comments are quite correct.

Edit:  This is intended as friendly advice -- not being snarky -- as it may be difficult to tell on a message board.  Cheers.

I had a quick look at your script -- my first thoughts were low budget.  You could possibly film this yourself or it may be ok for the DVD market.
Regarding the script itself, it reminds me of many films that have already been made many times -- would anyone want to make this film?  I don't know, i hope they do.

Quoted from bert If you paid him for these services, demand your money back. Dustin's comments are quite correct. Edit:  This is intended as friendly advice -- not being snarky -- as it may be difficult to tell on a message board.  Cheers.

IL check see if posted corrected script, Thanks

I'll second Dustin's observation -- in the first few pages alone, your action blocks and dialogue blocks lack punctuation. For example, you only have two sentences in the first 3 pages that end with proper punctuation. I don't see what's so hard about ending a sentence with a period. It almost seems as if punctuation was purposely avoided.

At the top of page 2, you have a sentence in your description that says:

Heat haze radiates across the desert wasteland. ...as

So, you end it with a period. Okay, that's one sentence that ends with proper punctuation. Then you have a space followed by ellipses (...) and then as.

Shouldn't you capitalize the (A) in As and start off the sentence with that, THEN follow with the ellipses?

The same misuse of punctuation is used again. You're also missing several commas when commas are needed.

Also, on page 2, it says GCI EFFECTS... isn't it CGI?

On page 3: The machines hydraulics fire to life, two giant hydraulic arms on the front of the stasis machine maneuver into position, the stasis machines heads out of the shelter.

Finally, you end a sentence with a period, but there are so many things wrong with the way this paragraph is constructed -- "The machines hydraulics fire to life" -- What?

"The stasis machines heads out of the shelter" -- if machine (s) is plural, then it should be stasis machines "head" out of the shelter.

I also noticed a there that should have been their...

Sure, there are some freedoms you can take with use of grammar and punctuation in a screenplay, but this is almost unreadable.

I highly doubt that nobody mentioned your punctuation. It comes across as very amateurish.

You may want to get your money back from this "produced screenwriter" with "30 years experience" -- I highly question his credentials if he edited this script.

And I know you want to get feedback on the actually story itself, but with the way this script reads, I can't imagine anyone getting too far into this. Sorry to sound harsh, and I know you say everyone has a right to their own opinion, but this is NOT a matter of opinion. Go back and read the first 3 pages and tell me (honestly without getting defensive) that this is properly written.

Just read it myself -- i have posted the wrong script, the first five pages of this script have not been corrected -- as for grammar, spelling, punctuation or anything else -- it looks ok after page five -- sorry for the confusion. ;D

Also page seven, eight, and some of page nine have not been corrected for grammar, spelling, punctuation or anything else -- I'm going through the script now -- may take me some time to find the corrected script as not sure what computer, flash drive its on.

Hi this is a earlier version of Resurrection -- it should be easier to read this version -- I'm still searching for the current version -- as soon as i find it i will post it.  Any comments welcome. Cheers. ...

This was a strange story. I did like the character of Massier though. However it reads more like a novel than a film. Just my opinion. Good luck!
-L.G.

Thanks for the read, i have wrote three stories from the bible, they are all based on fact and a lot of fiction thrown in, my other stories are called, rebellion and army of god, they are also based on stories found in the bible.

I don't just write strange bible stories i also write things like, Brothers justice, you probably can guess what that is about, Vampire hunters, bounty hunter, also in the fantasy genre Rainbow Kingdom and Rainbow Kingdom 2 are a bit like the lion witch and the wardrobe narnia, never ending story, this type of film.

I'm filming vampire hunters myself.

NICE! Well, as a filmmaker myself, I just want to say good luck, Ed.

I have spent many years writing screenplays, so i decided to film Vampire Hunters, being low budget.
Thanks for the luck, I'm probably going to need it, whatever your working on i hope it turns out ok for you.

Thanks, my friend. I have a few scripts posted up here on simplyscripts; N.D.E. (Near Death Experience), Wonder Woman, Thundarr The Barbarian, and a couple more…feel free to check them out when you can.

-L.

Will do, N.D.E. sounds interesting -- i will go and check this out as soon as i can, Thanks.