The Attic Wars by John Phillip Wilkins (LucrativeAngst) - Drama, Experimental, Action, Drama - A psychic detective and an FBI agent pursue cases that may be connected by an existential thread. 89 pages - pdf, format 8)

Thx in advance for any reads... I'll reciprocate.

I figured putting "experimental" and "existential" in the description would be fair warning. The script is a bit unconventional and may be tough for some to get into it... fair enough.

The reason the "situations were intro'd so closely" was that the dialogue in each scene finished the thought of the dialogue in the previous scene. As I say in the script's description, there is a thread running through both stories.

Thx for giving it a shot.

Skimmed over the first 10 pages. Overall, it's well-written and is holding my interest. Couple early problems. Drop the song on page one. That will get your script tossed my most.  I have almost every scene of my script mapped out with a soundtrack. However, I do not own the rights to those songs.

Easy fix. Same thing with your excessive use of wrylies early on. Try to cut them back.

I'll keep reading. looks like a good story.

Thx for taking a look... interested in your further thoughts. I tend to write as if I were going to direct. If I  ever submit this to producers/agents I'd have a "sanitized" version ready.