Dreamscale by SKRT - Short - Four friends on a camping trip, get more than wanted from a young girl (not what your thinking peeps). - pdf, format 8)

Omg! This is the winner. Give the dude a mug now!

One of the best pisstakes in OWC, if not the best.

Am trying to work out who wrote this! Good stuff!

Winner winner, piss take dinner!  This was awesome!  

Done and dusted...the competition is over.

Stevie's Line - Buddy... You're f**king a tree! Classic  ;D

Honestly, if I was Dreamscale I'd be pissed my name's even attached to this. I guess that's why they call it a pisser? Although the part where he was screwin' the tree was kinda funny.  But other than that it fell flat, IMO.

REALLY funny, but wouldn't Don be cooking beef noodles?  

I knew there was something strange about Pia :D

And Don loves his Mac and Cheese :D

Very funny, I wish I wrote it

Mark

NO PISSERS, MARK!!!!!!!

What the...?????

Pia has both male and female descriptions?

Sorry, bro, I couldn't continue on.

"ass glows from the moonlight." Ah, yes, was wondering if this would show up. ;D

Finished... I'm sorry but I didn't laugh as much as I should. This was a hard one to get in to since it honestly took itself a little too seriously at times, and with King's left testicle and all, you were expecting something really out there. There were certainly some good gems here but I would've liked the outrageous factor to have been a little bit higher.

Somebody is definitely trying to frame Stevie here, or maybe Stevie's got a massive ego and did this himself.

I had nothing to do with this!  Woulda done my own if I thought it woulda snuck thru, lol

I'm amazed that there's someone out there who 'knows' that 'Beatles For Sale' is generally considered the 'worst' album by the lads.  Gotta love that

“BERT
Let me ask a silly question.
PIA
No Bert, don't ask silly questions...
please.
BERT
Here goes... would acid vomit be
considered a form of projectile
weaponry?
The page doesn't answer. All of a sudden the ground rumbles.
PIA
It doesn't like silly questions.
DON
What's happening Pia.
Bert slowly backs up to a tree. The branches reach out and
pull him in tighter and tighter until his eye sockets pop
out.
JEFF
Fuck.
Bert is left for dead, as everyone freaks out except Pia,
who stands with a devilish grin.
PIA
Anymore questions?”

The best! :D Especially the "borrowed" line "would acid vomit be considered a form of projectile weaponry." That one was great!

“And with that, Pia disappears into the woods, as the trees
crush every bone in their bodies.
As we zoom out the Beatles "The End" plays... it's how Stevie
would have wanted.
FADE OUT:”

Rad ending! :D

I know who wrote this! Nice work! Give up the mug now!

Strangely enough I would have put Jeff down for this...I suppose that was the aim.

It was well handled and all the SS refernces were well interwoven but I do prefer pissers that are shorter than 12 pages - just a preference.

Almost makes me think that once a year there should be a seperate OWC section for pissers, but still keeping to theme.

I started reading this thinking it was legit. I think whoever wrote this should win me as I'm the mug. :-)

My vanity compels me to read this one first.  Yes, I am that shallow.  I never take offense to my use in scripts -- in any fashion -- and have appeared in maybe a dozen of these meta-scripts thus far.

But I do think I curse a bit much in this tale -- were one trying to capture my true character on the page -- and I must emphasize that I am far more strapping than the wheezing poltroon depicted here.

I have a near-perfect record for dying in these scripts, and I was pleased to find that trend intact.  The overarching story itself was alright, and the smattering of references to the boards themselves was a welcome addition that hit the target more often than not, though there seemed too few of them.

I liked this one well enough, and appreciated the effort, but the vets will know that what really makes these meta-scripts work is capturing true aspects of the characters while holding them up for ridicule.

Not just simple parody -- i.e. twinkies -- but instead, the kind of commentary that actually stings and bites and ruffles some feathers.  It takes a bit more courage to submit that kind of material, but when it works, that is what elevates these to the top tier.

There is a thread somewhere that grouped these meta-scripts together.  I will have to see if I can find it.  Unfortunately, however, these scripts soon become dated, and the jokes no longer make any sense.  But they remain fun in a "time-capsule" sort of way.

Nice work, though, and good job that it is mostly well-recieved.

Quoted from bert There is a thread somewhere that grouped these meta-scripts together.  I will have to see if I can find it.  Unfortunately, however, these scripts soon become dated, and the jokes no longer make any sense.  But they remain fun in a "time-capsule" sort of way.

Here it is:

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/m-1258864454/s-0/

Okay. Just to let you know that I read it. All of it. Some of was funny, and really hit the mark. Jeff having sex with a tree? But bark is so ruff. Ouch!

And I hope it wasn't Rene...

Genius. I could see this one getting produced.

Really, though, this did make me laugh. That's pretty much all there is to say about it.

Congrats for completing an OWC entry. Writing a script in three hours is never an easy undertaking.

After reading I was left with one question... who lit those fucking candles in the church?! That's a bit of a plot hole right there. ;D

This had it's moments, the SS references did give me a chuckle, but there wasn't enough of them for me and I lost interest towards the end.

Fun all the same though. :)

Steve

I was never a big fan of scripts that involve SS members as characters.  I just never thought the characters were properly done... and we can add this one to the list.  There were a couple of cute lines in it but nothing that made me laugh.


Phil

Love it! Good fun, some genuine laughs, lots of eye-rolling, everthing it should be and a bit more. Great job!

He checks Bert out... he shovels twinkie bars in him like
it's the end of the world.

When I read that, I thought Stevie was shoveling twinkie's into Bert like a maniac squirrel stashing nuts or something. Change of subjects so the pronouns become confused, but it sure made me laugh.

Quoted from Stevie I'm amazed that there's someone out there who 'knows' that 'Beatles For Sale' is generally considered the 'worst' album by the lads.  Gotta love that

:D:D

I'm a bit of a Beatles fan myself Stevie :)

Glad you enjoyed it.

Now where's my mug, peeps? :D:D:D:D:D... or even a shot glass will do :D

Mark

Markkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk man you rocked this script! Great work! I had it penned in my top four! Great script! It should go down in the hall of fame pissers for sure!

Awesome job! If they don't send you a mug, I'll send you mine! :)

Great stuff. Mark?

Man, you nailed a few of us superbly. For a moment there, I thought I had written it and forgotten about it, lol.

I am writing my own Simply pisstake about this OWC at the moment, am nearly done. I have used Jeff's predilection for tree shagging in it as homage to this one. So sue me, bitch, lol ;D

Quoted from Stevie I am writing my own Simply pisstake about this OWC at the moment, am nearly done. I have used Jeff's predilection for tree shagging in it as homage to this one. So sue me, b****, lol

:D:D:D

I think I should get a mug if only for that scene :D

Mark

I've read a few of these out of simple pleasure. I enjoyed this one. Think you missed Bert's character a tad. He's like a legitimate physisist or something. He should be in the background, sipping tea, predicting everything to unfold before he dies. And that was a satisfying moment for me.

The thing you did right here, aside from a ton of typos, is you have a complete story. Beginning, middle, and end. It all came together nicely. And you've made me fear Pia even more. Solid work.

James

Quoted from jwent6688 And you've made me fear Pia even more. Solid work. James

I always fear Pia...don't we all...or shouldn't w all???

;D ;D ;D

Quoted from Pia My only complaint would be that some of the characters, if not all, didn't feel like the "characters" we know from the boards. With the exception of Jeff maybe.    Even though Bert and Don were pretty funny, I just couldn't really picture the real Bert and Don in those roles. I have never talked to Bert, but I have talked to Don, Jeff and even Stevie and I can't really picture them spewing cuss words like that. Unless they just clean up their language when they talk to me. But, that seems unlikely. I also can't picture Bert talking like that either, but who knows. We've had numerous of these SS scripts over the years and the best ones, IMO, are the ones that really show some knowledge of the real people. You could at least have given Don a glass of Merlot.

Thanks for the read Pia.

Yeah, this was put together on a friday night. I was kinda going along with stand by me/goonies friendship theme and having a fat kid(which I used as Bert) and as for the cussing. I was trying my hardest to make the "R" rating and trying to cover as much as the parameters (except the comedy) :P

I wasn't intentionally setting out to use SS members or write a comedy, but after a few drinks... ;D

I wanted to use SS members who I figured wouldn't be offended and not actually who you are all in person.

Obviously Bert's not fat, Don might not like mac and cheese, Stevie isn't an asshole he's an arsehole ;D Jeff loves trees too much and you aren't a 12 year old psychopathic killer... are you ???

Glad you enjoyed it... see you do comedy :)

Mark

Quoted from James McClung aside from a ton of typos

There was only a "ton"... woohoo, I thought there were more. :D

Quoted from James McClung And you've made me fear Pia even more.

;D

Thanks for the read James

Glad you enjoyed it.

Mark

Good job on this, Mark.  Some funny stuff and some rather chilling stuff.  Some inane typos and the like as well, which all pissers need.

BUT...for me, this was too good for an actual pisser.  There weren't enough mistakes.  And, the story ended on an ominous note, which actually worked.

In all honesty, I think if you wanted to, you could turn this into a creepy little script.

Fun stuff, bro.  Good job!

Hey Bro

Thanks for the read

Quoted from JC Cleveland BUT...for me, this was too good for an actual pisser.

Damn it ;D

Quoted from JC Cleveland In all honesty, I think if you wanted to, you could turn this into a creepy little script.

I was thinking about it... Stevie's death... wait for it... an IRON MAIDEN ;D;D;D

oh yeah, the irony :D

Mark

Lol.

For me, death by listening to Coldplay would be the most painful

Up the irons, mate!!!!!

Quoted from Dreamscale I love iron hard things up me!!