Fade Away by Daniel Viau - Short - A small boy alone in the Canadian wilderness must look to his past to confront his future, after he makes a miraculous discovery that will change humankind.  9 pages - pdf, format 8)


A DQ'd OWC entry for technical reasons not because of content or quality of writing.  

Thanks for posting my OWC, even though the formatting is off on this version.  I appreciate you posting my first script here. I hope people can set aside the format issue and enjoy it all the same. Thanks again. If anyone wants the proper format version let me know.

DA N

Hey Dan...

Just read this...So the boy is alone in the forest...he kills a rabbit...talks to a chipmunk....then has a flashback of the fire/his father...then flies away in a spaceship? I think that is what I got from the story.

I think I'd give the boy a name or some sort. Maybe build his character a bit more. The flash back was a bit unclear to me. I guess the boy is your main character. Your protagonist who has set out on his own. What's he up against? What is his goal? Is there anything stopping him? You may want to figure out what genre you are going for and really work it, because this story feels like it's a bit of drama, sci-fi...

Good story if this is your first attempt. You'll get better and better I"m sure. This is a great place to hang out and learn. Read some scripts. And get a screenwriting software ...there are free ones out there and they are very easy to use.

Hi Dan.  First, thanks for reviewing my OWC story "Unhooked". Sorry yours was DQ'd but saw that you've gotten your formatting worked out for your next entry.

Your story has a lot going on...skinning animals, talking to animals, flashbacks in a fire, aliens...maybe a little too much.  I wasn't sure how it all tied in together.  Figure out what your story is really about.  Was it about the violence in his family and how he wanted to escape?  Then make sure you have structure, like beginning, middle and resolution.  Also, we need to know this boy in order to care about him and his ordeal.  Name him.  And make us feel something for him.  

Just keep writing and read lots of screenplays, good ones and bad ones.  Study up on story structure, character development...that kind of thing.  :)

Heh guys thanks for the read.

I was trying to talk about sacrifice and how unnatural altruistic behaviour is. The boy also wants to honour a memory. I was trying to side with Nurture as a more important quality than Nature.

If our stars faded light years ago we wouldn't be aware until long long after. The aliens would be choosing the right people to travel to the new Earth. Specifically children taught to be caring, and those able to survive on their own (with those outdoor skills).

At least, this was my goal. I also hoped to tease at a larger picture. The ideas here would kick off a feature that would take place in space. The journey to a new Home.

The intended structure was to start and end with the night sky - both events meaning something different at that time. In between I wanted to show the survival abilities of a child and the value of memory. I wanted to convey memories in a way we experience, like daydreaming with the fire. Seeing it again, and again. My hope was to show how independent and capable the boy is.

And talking with animals, seemed better than a narration. But also, I hoped it would show a more empathetic side. He's not some crazy kid killing animals. He thinks of animals as sentient.

Thanks again. I hope that answers some questions.

D A N

Thanks for posting the revised proper format.