Grendel by Gustavo Martinez - Short - A brief journey into the mind of Beowulf famous counterpart, the monster only known as "Grendel" . 16 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey Gustavo.

Decided to give this a look.  So you start off with some pretty flowery description on the lines of a novel.  The beauty of screenplays is in their simplicity.  The telling of a great story and that's it.  Too much detail can get tiring and while everyone certainly has their style, brief descriptions are the way to go.

What I'm seeing is a pretty hillside, a creature lurking in the shadows and a caravan escorted by a few men.  I suggest adding just a bit to what we're seeing instead of painting too much.  To me, detail is like a seasoning to a dish.  Just a dash here and there makes the entre amazing.  Too much and it tastes like s***.

A page and a half of pure dialogue.  There's gotta be something happening as they're speaking.  It's all about visuals.  Too much idle conversation can really halt the read IMO.

That's what I've got for now.  The writing itself is pretty good.  Just need to mix in a little more action with the talk and you're golden.

-Johnny