A Very British Revolution by Anthony Youngman (antman-bris) - Thriller, Historical Political Thriller - In the wake of the Napoleonic Wars, Henry Hunt, a charismatic landed gentleman, leads a band of working class men in the fight for their democratic freedom. Will Hunt sway his allies toward peaceful reform or will a bloody revolution ensue? (Based on the events surrounding the Peterloo Massacre in 1819.) 123 pages - pdf, format 8)

I've read 10 pages and so far this is very good. Just my type of story. Bernard Cornwell is one of my favourite authors, I think I've read every one of the Sharpe novels, alongside some of his other lesser known novels too.

This story seems perfect for the times... although dealing with a period in history it has resonations with the political climate of today too. Viewers will connect the dots.... so I hope you play on that aspect throughout the script, which I feel you will. Seems, right now, to be very intelligently written. I look forward to reading it soon. I owe a couple of reads before this one so this is now third on my list.

You've got some overwriting and the odd misplaced comma, but none of that is important and will doubtlessly be cleaned up on rewrites. If this script lives up to its promise, then I wish you all the luck with it.

Hi Anthony.

Your logline is intriguing.  Period pieces are usually not my thing but I got to page 14. I didn't  notice any formatting issues which means you polished the writing thoroughly. That's great.

The lingo of dialog is proper for the time (I guess).  Which is my problem... The first ten pages has nothing going on.  No conflict.  No indication  of direction.  I was bored.  A lot of time was spent introducing people through dialog.  Show don't  tell.  I read in some Screenplay writers book that the story you are trying to tell should be worth telling.  I can't find one in the first 14 pages.

Good luck,

Tony.