Hey everybody.  Steve here.  LOL I change my user name constantly as you all are aware (reaper, levy, steverino, etc.)  A few days ago I was giving some thought to some scripts written by board members.  I want to talk about some of them and their writers, and I want to talk about what I have learned from them, because these scripts have stayed with me for quite some time now and I still refer back to them for help.  Now, first and foremost, I want to keep it very positive.  If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone, don't say anything at all.  Just pass by the thread.  Last thing I want is everyone bickering over a snide remark about how terrible so and so's writing was and how they learned NOT to write a shitty script. haha.

I'll start with Mike's (spesh2k) Never After (formerly known as Yesterday Syndrome).  Before I opened this bad boy, I never stressed over making my first page a slam bang opener.  I was blown away by the first page of this script and hooked along for the rest of the ride.  Subsequent drafts have had that one single explosive moment take place at the top of page 2, but that very first draft I read made a huge impression on me.  Since then I have tried to infuse awesome into my very first page like Mike did, but I don't think I ever accomplished it.  I highly recommend this one.

There was another script that was sent to me from someone on here -- but since it was supposed to be read by name actors and a production company -- I'll decline mentioning the writer's name or the title incase said person doesn't want anyone talking about their script in specific detail at this current moment.  Now while this script wasn't for me, I was absolutely amazed by the development of one character.  I don't think I ever liked a character so much so fast.  I mean the likeability factor was huge, and I'm still in awe.  Whenever I try to come up with characters that are likeable, I always -- one way or another -- come back to this script.

I'll finish up with an oldie but goodie that I think could be turned into something super badass with a fresh new rewrite:  James McClung's The Black Market.  There's a death in Black Market that came out of nowhere and really got a reaction out of me.  It reminded me of a time when I read my very first script over a decade ago, Reservoir Dogs.  While Black Market didn't make my heart drop through my ass and invoke an absolutely stunned expression on my face the way QT did, I still remember speaking to the computer "no fucking way!"  It's definitely a "holy fucking shit that did not just happen!" type of thing...but with some tweaks, that scene in Black Market could have been more than that... like a really, really powerful and emotional and gut wrenching moment.  There's only one horror film to ever make me a blubbering baby over a character's death and that's The Director's Cut of Rob Zombie's Halloween II.  While James doesn't achieve that greatness, he still knocks it out of the park with a great shocking moment that every writer should try to make happen in these types of stories.  If anyone asked me how to knock off their characters and have it be big, Reservoir Dogs and Black Market would surely be the 2 scripts I would send their way and say 'take a look at how to do it.'  But that's not all with this one!!! haha.  I really, really loved the fact that there was a scary antagonist chasing around our hero, a pretty girl, who happened to be in her bra and panties the majority of the time (and the cool thing about this part was that she was half naked for a legitimate reason).  It was an awesome visual.  A disgusting, slimy bad guy so rapt in trying to destroy and desecrate such a beautiful looking thing.  Who would want to do that?  Impressive writing on display by James, and I really learned a lot from this one.  


There's more I would like to talk about but that will do for now as it's getting a little late for me.

Any one else care to share?

If you could, please link to the script if it's OK, this way I can check it out!


--Steve

Short answer from me - Balt/Baltis.

Loved his writing, incredibly helpful when I first joined and was always supportive.
Bert, too. Brilliant writer, always loved his take on things and helped make me see things from different perspectives.

I vaguely remember Balt.  I think we had a small conversation once through e-mail.

Can't say I ever had a chance to read anything by him, which I regret... I used to hear great things about him.



--Steve

Jeff helped me the most at the beginning. I don't always see things the same way, but still appreciate the help!

Jeff was the first help me on SS, navigate around and taught me the ways of the dark side.. :D I always have time for Jeff although my scripts are not his taste :D

On the writing side... the Coopster, one the best reviewers on here and a great friend... my scripts improve a lot through him

Mark

Where is the Coopster?

No idea who that is. But I do recall Clorox, who could be harsh but was usually very fair. If he hadn't commented on my first script I might not have bothered writing another.

Balt was indeed good and is sorely missed. And Craig, way back when.

LC helped a lot on a 1000 Days and on other stuff.

Still around too are Stevie & Led often chimed in and were always willing to read. Bless.

Dreamscale was often caustic but usually had an interesting point of view. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Many others too. But these sprang to mind.

R

Coop is pretty busy with family life and work right now...

Mark

Bert was the first to read any script of mine. Poor fella hasn't been the same since! If I could, like the Dalai Lama, grant him total enlightenment at death, I would. He'd have that going for him. And it was a feature! One more miracle and the Church grants Bert sainthood.

I learned to quit writing so "novely" from Ren.

My thoughts are always with him when I set out to write descriptions.
Brief descriptions.


From Jeff I learned that some people always b!tch about the oddest things and that I can put my GD commas anywhere I GD well please.

However, my thoughts are rarely with him whenever I slap another comma in to save words and lines.
But they are always with him when I provide actionable criticism.


The recently poor and unfortunate "ill Phil" has taught me to "be above" some of the commoner scrap fights around here.


Pia has taught me about dedication and resilience to craft, and to sometimes go your own way, d@mn the sensibilities of weak-kneed readers.


This site's GD f#cking p#ssy-headed mamby-pamby sh!t f#ck Nazi "bad word" f#cking minder has taught me to swear IN A WHOLE NEW LIFE CHANGING WAY!
F#ck you very much!


Bert has taught me that being a moderator is a f#cking horrible job because you just can't get down and dirty and have fun in the mud with the pigs when you're supposed to be babysitting this nasty hog trough of swine.
He does a great job of it. Poor guy.


And Don has taught me the Zen-ness of not micro-managing all you GD fruitcakes!


I love you bunch of f#cking nut cases.  ;D

Gotta hand it to Jeff on this one, helped me through the beginning stages and taught me the basics.

And like Mark, the Coopster came next. All around great dude and a great reviewer, we started writing/joined the site around the same time so he's always been there. I'm co-writing a feature with him at the moment so maybe I'm bias, but I'm still very excited about this project.

Yeah Mo you bastard! you stole him away from me. ;D

Mark

Jeff should get a lot of shout outs here. If he hadn't responded the way he did to my shit write, I wouldn't have been motivated much, probably still wondering what the hell I'm doing wrong.

Interesting...Coop was the only one that took time to review the first script I ever wrote. He made a great first impression on how I viewed the site.

The funny thing is, I don't know if what I've learned has been as important as just having the people around who are really friendly and cool on this site. Man, there have been so many people on this site who lent me a helping hand. I know I'm going to miss several of you guys (I'm apologizing in advance. It's in my nature), but literally every person who's replied to this thread has helped me directly at one time or another. Then, there are those who haven't replied, but helped me out; Dena, Bert, Mike & Mike (Cornetto & Shelton), Brett, Shawn, Toby, Marnie, Khamanna, Dirk, among dozens of others. It's really so tough to name individuals, but I'm doing my best. Then, going way back to when I first showed up, I also got a lot of friendly help from Libby Chambers, Niles_Crane, Sandra_Elstree and ReaperCreeper, so it's really just an eclectic mix of people over the years.

Quoted from irish eyes Yeah Mo you bastard! you stole him away from me. ;D Mark

;D I promise I'll only keep him for just another... Few months? :X

I guess I'd have to thank everyone who's reviewed my stuff at one point or another. All the feedback, some good, some bad, served a common purpose: to make a better writer out of me. I take a look back at the first draft of the very first feature I wrote and all I can do is chuckle. You guys are all great, IMO!

However, I give major props to Shawn (Ledbetter), for taking the time to read that same feature and giving me invaluable advice going forward with it.

But seriously, anyone who's ever reviewed a script here deserves a shout out.

Steve

You are all cool folk!

Jeff is my closest net buddy and yeah, he's a great help with scripts. And not forgetting Ryan!

Thanks, everyone.  It's good to hear this.  You guys and gals are all great!

I can't recall everyone that leant me a helping hand, but I do remember Jeff lending his support with plenty of my projects, small things such as slug-following-descriptions and off-the-nose dialogue to make it more natural.

Other than that though, guess I've learned from plenty of users here through reading their material and listening to advice whenever I post one of my own.

George Willson.

When I joined this site I didn't know a lick about what it took to write a screenplay. Passive writing, OTN dialogue, huge blocks of action lines and proper format issues plagued me from the start. I reached out for any help I could get. Jeff, Toby, Gabe, Sean and Steven Clark have been extremely helpful in my development and have taken the time to go through my scripts pointing out the mistakes. I still have a ton to learn and continue to have problems here and there with issues that I mentioned but this site and those 5 guys has been great for peeps like me with little to no experience.

I consider myself the turd that these guys (just to name a few i.e. Phil, Pia, Bert, James McClung, Alffy, Mark More, Greg, Janet, Julio, Mark Lyons and many more) help become partially polished. lol.

None of this would have happened if not for the great Don who created this website. Don...that's mafia godfather status. lol.

Gabe  

I've tried to clear out the nonsense and posts that no longer make sense after another post has been deleted.  

But, to keep this thread on track, I've learned from a number of SS members:

Think before you respond to something you've read. And, don't be mean.  

Don

Quoted from Don I've tried to clear out the nonsense and posts that no longer make sense after another post has been deleted.   But, to keep this thread on track, I've learned from a number of SS members: Think before you respond to something you've read. And, don't be mean.   Don

I couldn't agree with you more, Don.

Glad to see things have taken off here  8)

I was sort of hoping to see more posts about someone's script and a specific thing about that script, sort of like the examples I had given.

But it's all gravy, baby.   :)


--Steve

I'd have to say that Jeff was the one who helped guide me through the errors of my first script.

I remember how kind and thoughtful he was.  Never a mean word to say.  I think it was the way he sugarcoated everything and spoke with a softness so rarely seen in the world that stood out the most to me.

I also learned from Phil what 'present progressive tense' is.

Jordan

Quoted from Nomad I'd have to say that Jeff was the one who helped guide me through the errors of my first script. I remember how kind and thoughtful he was.  Never a mean word to say.  I think it was the way he sugarcoated everything and spoke with a softness so rarely seen in the world that stood out the most to me.Jordan

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I can be a real charmer, huh?

Pia gave me lots of helpful suggestions on how to market my work...where to put it, that kind of thing. And shortly after, I had my first short produced. :)

As far as remembering one particular screenplay, I can't recall but I know for sure I've learned plenty while being here.

As charming as a Jeager hangover!

KEVIN!!!!!!!

It's Jager, not Jeager!!!!!!  How many times do I need to repeat this?  Think of all the times you use this word in your writing...you must remember the correct spelling.

For the love of all things holy and bright...

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Think about all the cases of that stuff I ordered! We used to be a top 5 account in the entire state of Mass. I used to order 5 cases a week! They could never figure out how we went through so much.

So I guess I should be able to spell it.

Quoted from KevinLenihan Think about all the cases of that stuff I ordered! We used to be a top 5 account in the entire state of Mass. I used to order 5 cases a week! They could never figure out how we went through so much. So I guess I should be able to spell it.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

You'd be surprised how many bottles I buy and go through...shocking...sad...AMAZING!!!

I wouldn't be!

Years ago, there was a group of cute college girls that came into the bar a couple times a week. They would order a pitcher of beer and drink it very, very slowly. Just to wet their whistle, actually.

But they ordered shots of Jager all night. They swore that if you drank Jager without getting drunk on other stuff you experienced a different kind of buzz.

The rest of the story...well, I can't tell it in a public forum.

Quoted from Nomad I think it was the way he sugarcoated everything and spoke with a softness ... Jordan

Sugarcoating from Jeffrey?
You been smoking some of those funny cigarettes, Jordan?  ;D

A couple of people mentioned me???  ;D

I appreciate that. Nice to know. As far as my own learning goes, I can't single out one single person. I've been here for years and the help/influences by others have been enormous. Everything I've learned really, but I think for me, it's been more like bits and pieces from A LOT of people rather than one single person. So for me, I will always credit Don with my successes...or failures, because it's at his website it all happened.  :)