Hey Charles,
Not going to sugar coat it. This script needs some work, typos, things that are difficult to transfer into film, etc. but you know what… I liked it!
The idea of walking Steam Men into the Parliament to ‘Kill’ the heart of the beast (British Monarchy) is a pretty clever take on why these mechanical beings were created in the first place; but by the Fenians?... fair enough.
It has a really cool ‘Steampunk’ concept that put me in mind of several different avenues of thought. An old world late 19th century, and a late 1930’s Art Deco fusion. I’m reminded of some old Max Fleischer animations that were put onto film, primarily the Superman issue called ‘Mechanical Monsters’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo7Bw-iSW6QFrom this they created a short film titled ‘Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqRvdm8jHz4Then, if that wasn’t cool enough, they made a recent version starring Angelina Jolie and Jude Law that was just as awesome in my opinion, and loaded with eye candy for ‘Steampunk’ junkies like me. It also put me in mind of the movie ‘Dark City’ and the entire premise of working with shadows to create a surreal atmosphere. I think this would definitely look stellar if it was created using a Cut-Out animation technique, using lots of shadows, Art Deco; soot covered and bronze plated ‘Steampunk’ creatures. Then, for good measure, throw in some of the sinister set design from the 1927 movie ‘Metropolis’… oh ya!
These are neat mechanical creatures you got me picturing in my head, and coupled with the time frame you put this at makes for something quite imaginative!