A Complicated Man by JD Long - Short, Thriller - A once-successful writer struggles with the last chapter of his newest book, only to find it has began to write itself. 12 pages - pdf, format 8)

My thoughts and comments for what they are worth...

- Loved the logline, made me want to read it
- You don't need to number the scenes
- Not sure you need to explain how the credits will appear unless it's critical to the story?
- The action sections are FAR too long and descriptive, fine for a short story/novel but brevity is key in a screenplay - have a look at some of the other scripts on here or elsewhere and see how they are written.
- You don't need to explain that there is dialogue over the scene, you shold use the normal indicator which is V.O.
- Dialogue isn't shown like this in screenplys... Character name in CAPS is on the first line, dialogue on a new line, if you use a parenthetical description it's between these in brackets.
- You need to check for typos, e.g. know when you meant now, been when you meant be etc.
- I think the voice over converstion is too long
- The conversation between Jesse and Emma has Emma in a different room, so her dialogue she be noted with O.S. to show she is off screen.
  
Sorry gave up about half way through as the script needs a lot of work on formatting... you might want to consider using screenwriting software, something like CeltX is free and a great help in getting used to formatting properly.

Anthony