Date with Death by Phil Hazlewood - Thriller - A desperate detective eager to avenge his sons murder. A crime boss unwilling to accept a family agreement. Both share the same foe, a deadly, mysterious hit man.  130 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi Phil,
You are coming in at 130 pages which is too long. Advise cutting it down by 30.

Your very first read is confusing:

INT. KELLY RESIDENCE. NIGHT 20/05/1998.
We see an average detached family home in the suburbs. Inside a rugged, anxious, middle aged father stands at the bottom of the stairs.

We are slugged as interior but you want "we"  or us to see a detached family home from the outside then focus on the inside. Doesn't seem like a big deal but try an EXT establishing shot describing the type  of house,  then go INT to the story.

After that the errors are too numerous to climb in order to get to the story.

Gl with the rewrite,

Tony