Say The Word by Manolis Froudarakis (Athenian) - Short, Comedy, Commercial - Federico wants to hear from his daughter that sweet two-syllable word. - pdf, format 8)

Just posting to say this gave me a chuckle. Good sketch, not much else to say.

Quoted Text "Bianca takes nervously a sip of wine" Bianca nervously takes a sip of wine.*

- DS

Shot but sweet...

End punchline is funny but perhaps a little predictable (imho)... maybe point a Frederico and say 'biscotti' - or something similar ;-)

Works though

Anthony

Hey, Manolis, that was funny.

I'm thinking you don't need to introduce Bianca at all. You could just say an Italian family. Aleksandra is a centre of attention. Frederico asks her to say Papa. She turns to another man, Stephano, young and handsome.
But don't listen to me. It works as is. Very funny.

If this happened to me or one of my friends we would laugh harder as a one-year-old couldn't possibly know who her father is without a DNA test, unless this is a young Jeremy Kyle, of course. He could well have started out as a girl, I have my suspicions he still is.

So, we would laugh harder. Why would everything stop abruptly because a baby said something even more hilarious? I don't think this one works... but it obviously does for some, so well done on that.

Maybe "Papa" for the title. This does have the essence of a Jeremy Kyle show as mentioned, without the swearing and fighting of course.
I see the humour but it's very cheesy in my opinion. Unless of course that is what you are going for?

It's written so credit to you for that.

Lee

Hey Manolis. I gather a 'festive board' is a family feast of some kind - everyone eating and drinking around a table? That was the only thing that pulled me up a little.

Apart from that and DS's eagle eyes with the structure of that one sentence (which I notice you've changed since) I got a good chuckle out of this and like it a lot.  ;D

The way I read it Stefano and Bianca have been up to no good - and it's 'out of the mouths of babes.'

Well done, as usual.

Thanks for the input, everyone!

- Hi DS, glad you liked it! I fixed that syntax error, thanks for spotting it.

- Thanks for the read, Anthony! Actually, the end punchline is supposed to be the "SUPER", but I liked your suggestion about the biscotti. ;)

- Thanks, Khamanna, glad you found it funny! I'm never sure which characters to name - actually, I tend to use "MAN", "WOMAN" and the likes a lot. Thanks for the useful suggestion though.

- Hi Dustin, thanks for the comment! Federico and the rest are supposed to be super "traditional" Italians, so the joke works better if you assume this kind of mentality. I tried to play with the stereotypes a little.

- Hi Lee, thanks for checking this out! It's an idea for a commercial actually and, like I said to Anthony, the punchline was meant to be in the SUPER: a baby says "papa" for the first time and everyone is supposedly amazed by its progress in Italian. That's the main idea - the story could have been different.

- Hey, Libby, glad you enjoyed it! I rephrased the first sentence according to your suggestion, thanks. Federico and Bianca may or may not have real problems – let’s leave this to the imagination. ;)

Quoted from DustinBowcot If this happened to me or one of my friends we would laugh harder as a one-year-old couldn't possibly know who her father is without a DNA test, unless this is a young Jeremy Kyle, of course. He could well have started out as a girl, I have my suspicions he still is. So, we would laugh harder. Why would everything stop abruptly because a baby said something even more hilarious? I don't think this one works... but it obviously does for some, so well done on that.

I for one thought the over-reaction to something so innocent was supposed to be the comedic effect here. That's what I read out at least.

Manolis

Decent punchline, got a chuckle out of me. Although I didn’t quite get the SUPER at the end. In my opinion, it would work fine without it.

Now, where to find a one year old for the starring role!

Col.

Thanks for the read, Col! I tried to write this one like a commercial, hence the SUPER at the end. Glad you liked the sketch though.

Manolis