A Pact by Richard Russell - Short, Drama - A beautiful woman finds a man to fulfill her need. 9 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey Richard.

SPOILERS BELOW;

The logline is awkward and it doesn't reflect the story. Where's the deal with the devil, the curse, all the things that make the story sound interesting? If you don't sell your story with the title and logline a lot won't bother reading any further.

As it was only 9 pages I checked it out. Some typos here and there and the action/descriptions could do with some work but overall I liked the general feel and tone of the story.

I was let down by the ending. I presume all that's happened is she turned and was hideous but she died? I think a better twist would be she survives the shooting but takes several bullets to the face, thus transforming into the troll as the Devil promised. She has fulfilled her own curse.

-Mark