Two Kooks in a Kitchen by Ian Courter - Short, Comedy - Lorraine Sanchez finally gets a chance to do some news studio work, but a primadonna chef stands to ruin her big break. 9 pages - pdf, format 8)

Is that supposed to be Kooks or Cooks?

Apart from that it was easy to read and easy to understand. A few comedy moments and a nice ending.

-Mark

Quoted from MarkRenshaw Is that supposed to be Kooks or Cooks?

I believe it is a pun. Kook as in crazy... but I'd have to read it to be sure.

Yep, pretty decent sketch. Nice work.

Mark and Dustin,

Thanks for the review, gentlemen. For some reason, I felt compelled to do a trilogy with the Lorraine Sanchez character (Interview with a Ventriloquist and Looking for Bigfoot being the other two).

Ian

Ian,

I had a good LOL at the exchange of assumed ancestry based on the names. GJ.

I pictured Suzanne Summers for Lorraine Sanchez (btw a hot porn star.)

BTW Maggie Pg.1, change in her dialog 'an' to 'a'

I didnt like how you had her 'flirt' at the end after mentioning she was already hitched. I felt it unnatural seeings how dey be hav'n had dems foody fights on dee air. ;)

Seems like it naturally ended when the on air segment went to black.

Great character in Lorraine. I can see why you want to further explore her (no pun intended)

I enjoyed it.

Tony

Quoted from TonyDionisio I felt it unnatural seeings how dey be hav'n had dems foody fights on dee air. ;)

I've quoted this so it stays forever. Maybe not today, but one day, you're going to regret writing the baby talk. wtf?

Lol, I was in the mood.

A couple of parts of this interchange in the script happened in real life for me. In my unit, I was one of the few Spanish speakers. There were a couple of Latinos who spoke absolutely no Spanish. So, that was good for some ribbing. Now the "carne espada/meat sword" discussion is best done over a couple of really good brews.

Suzanne Summers, Tony? I mean she looks good... for her age, but I had someone more contemporary in mind like Sarah Lancaster. Don't know why, but...

In Lorraine's defense, she does inform Pete that Sanchez was her ex's last name. She's a divorcee, so she's not doing anything technically wrong by flirting with the chef. As for the food fight and change in attitude, when I was an undergrad in college... nevermind.

Regarding the ending, I was shooting for a wrap up of the whole Lorraine Sanchez trilogy by finally letting her have a happy ending.

Thanks again for the read gents. Look forward to seeing and reading more from you guys... er, blokes, Dustin.

Ian

Sorry Ian, I didn't catch the Ex part. She kept the last name,  I see.

I was thinking the Chrissy character from Three's Company,  not the old Suzanne.

Now you can take Lorraine out into the field and really have her destroy something.  Lol

Tony

I wonder what she could do for the evening news if she did a stand-in anchor spot... maybe cover for Brian Williams on NBC Nightly News.

Lying Brian invents the news, Lorraine is part of it.

Hey, this was a funny little short, I guess there's more scripts with Lorraine Sanchez character. She's hilarious. I loved how everything went mental but then it all worked out for the better.

Thanks, Debbie. Yep, there are actually two more. Here are the URLs for them, if you are interested in reading them. They are works in progress, but getting there.

http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/InterviewwithaVentriloquistnFinaln.pdf

http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/LookingforBigfoot.pdf

ian

Oops. Forgot I changed my signature block to include URLs. Sorry for the repetition...

Funny read, really dug it. The banter worked well and the physical comedy made me crack a smile.  I also really liked the ending, since so many broadcasts like the one in the story are dull and lifeless, it makes sense that something nuts like this taking place would be such a hit.

Thanks for the feedback. I've known several journalists over the years and they are comically suppressed, so the premise of 'what if?' came to mind. Also, this series was my way of exploring how to develop a female character with depth. Being male made if difficult for me to write from that point of view. In my script "Jacked Up" (http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/JACKEDUP.pdf), the female character lacks depth. I am going to attempt to give her depth and realism in the subsequent rewrite. Glad you enjoyed it. Look forward to reading your work as well.

Nice effort here - I enjoyed it.

Thanks. Glad you liked it.

Ian

MAGGIE (CONT'D)
It's an chance to prove you can
do something besides field
reporting.

- Has she been doing the farming reports since her episode with the ventriloquist I wonder?

PETE
Chef, not Chief.

- Oh no, this is the beginning of it. She’s off to another wrong footed start. Although the chef is to blame a bit more here.

I understand and appreciate what you are attempting here with the trilogy of skits featuring the often volatile/always incompetent central character as she succeeds time and again in screwing up these career opportunities. Whether it’s by not capturing the all important video footage of sasquatch in “Looking For Bigfoot” to her inability to resist the urge to pick fights with her guests both in this and “Interview With The Ventriloquist”.

To your credit, above anything, you do have catchy script titles ;)

However, I’m afraid your brand of humor falls short, it’s just too silly and obvious for my tastes. Here you rely mostly on slapstick which can work sometimes but often I feel it’s the last resort for a cheap laugh, an easy gag. We see people slipping on olive oil, burning hands on pan handles (or was it the cooking oil again?) squirting lime juice and splashing water before getting into a flour fight on live TV. It’s all rather puerile.

You have to wonder why Lorraine keeps getting these chances; she clearly has some emotional baggage that needs shedding. I still don’t get why she is so aggressive and brusque with her guests. In her defense, she is sometimes goaded or provoked into a spat but mostly she is far too easily sucked in and suddenly you got two people sniping at one another for the camera. I realise that its done for laughs but it just comes off as unwarranted thus contrived. I wonder could you come up with a more gradual and nuanced way of Lorraine rubbing her guest up the wrong way and vice versa than having her spill olive oil.

It’s absurd and amusing in its own way and I see that this is how you want to portray the character, always shooting herself in the foot, saying the wrong things, blowing her big break, etc but we see it once: ok, see it twice: right, it’s starting to wear thin but for it to happen a third time: it’s just plain tiresome.

Especially since this transpired in much the same way as “Interview with the Ventriloquist” Although, there was less wit and laughs in this one. For one, you didn’t have a voice throwing ventriloquist ;) Here you just have a chef with a chip on his shoulder :-/  I mean, was Pete really so put out by Carl’s absence that he immediately took to antagonizing Lorraine? Seems harsh.

To your credit, this does end differently in that Lorraine and Pete reconcile while their antics go viral (in a positive way) on social media so I’ll give you props for throwing that curve ball to distinguish it from ignominy of her last outing but overall the humour fell very flat for me.

Anyway, heres to Lorraine Sanchez getting therapy and perhaps attending some anger management classes in the near future ;)

Col.

Col,

I had to laugh when reading your comments as some of that crossed my mind recently as well. I started the whole "series" as an exercise to improve my scene writing and character development -- in a short, the writer lacks the luxury of time and space to do either. I also used them as a means to practice developing a believable female character. I may be stereotyping myself, but I have to actively work at empathy for female characters as there are nuances to thinking, perspective, etc. that are different from my own experience. Now, I have had a mixed bag in terms of responses. Some like the character and her adventures, others not so much. My dilemma is, how do I reach a happy medium in terms of the type and scope of the humor to broaden the appeal to more audiences? That is, if I am going to take this further or move onto other projects. I haven't really answered that question for myself yet. To add to your dismay, here is [probably] a final one I did with the Lorraine Sanchez character and posted last week.
http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/SnowJob.pdf

Now, if you care to read something completely different from my usual fare, here is something decidedly non-comedy that might pique your interest. I have already started an extensive revision, but that won't get posted for a few days yet.
http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/TheGiftedPhotographer.pdf

Thanks for taking time to read it over.

Ian