SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Short Scripts / By The End Of The Day
Posted by: Don, March 20th, 2015, 4:48pm
By The End Of The Day by Pharaoh Knighton - Short - {No Logline} 7 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: Lightfoot, March 20th, 2015, 8:50pm; Reply: 1
Why no logline?
...and why is there two separate names on this?
Quoted Text
As Mark eats, he suddenly pauses and takes a moment to look down at his food. Then, he gradually begins to eat again
Not really seeing the point of this.
The movie theatre and the scene when they exit and the women basically telling us what we already know can be cut, don't see the connection with the story here, seems like it's just there to add to length, I think you should give Mark a better reaction to the sex robot things not seeing it's relevance to the story either.
Is there a point about the bikes that I'm missing?
Quoted Text
Mark appears nervous, breathing loudly and widening his eyes.
Not something a suicidal man would do, I believe this was just a cock and bull story made up by Mark to freak out co-workers.
What a caring man Schmidt is :)
Posted by: JohnHunter, March 24th, 2015, 7:19pm; Reply: 2
Your logline is your promise to the reader, a preview of what the story is about -- The condensed version of the whole thing. Without a logline, I stopped reading at page 1 or 2...Why read blocks of dialog without knowing there's going to a sugar cookie at the end of the rainbow?