Gelert and the Last Dog Show by Lee Miller - Action, Adventure, Zombie - Set at an apocalyptic dog show, a dwarf and his professional handler mentor learn the value of pure-bred dogs and are thrust into a gargantuan effort to save them. 194 pages - pdf, format 8)

Lee,

You completely missed the essence of a Screenplay and how it relates to the industry. Your 200 page mini novel may be great but not as script. Check out other scripts and then trim this to 90-100 pages.


Tony

I read through a little bit of this and would like to give some feedback.

We get introduced to GELERT.

"Since childhood he has a deep love for dogs. GELERT is a long
time dog groomer and assistant to an elite professional
handler. He works for a lady named JACKIE ARGENTINA (78).
The two characters are actually diametrically opposite.
GELERT is taciturn and JACKIE is definitely not. "

This is not how you write a screenplay. How do we know that Gelert has a deep love for dogs? How do we know he's a long time dog groomer and assistant to a professional handler? This is something you need to tell with dialogue and with story, not with action lines.

You have to write what can be filmed, at least when you're starting out. You need to write what's happening on screen, you need to write visually.

The action blocks are extremely thick and incredibly overwritten, another example...

"It is December, early Thursday morning. It is Florida,
sunny and a wonderful 73º. At night the temperature plunges
to 63º. It is the first day of a cluster of four dog shows.
The Saturday show is scheduled to be televised."

Is this really necessary? How do we know it's the first day of a cluster of four dog shows? THIS IS SOMETHING WHICH NEEDS TO PLAY OUT ON SCREEN.

As it stands I have no inclination to read on, this isn't a screenplay.