Hell's Retirement by Tomas Morris - Horror - New night staff members at a retirement home find themselves hunted and tortured for amusement. 99 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey, Thomas

Congrats on knocking out a feature!

Gave this a quick rundown. Here are some of my thoughts. First, the premise needs a little irony in it in order, grab that hook. The biggest question I came away with, and I think, it's a big one, who is the main character. I assumed it was the character who's mother was in he hospital because it was the only vulnerability any of them had. This leads into my second take away what did or didn't they learn about this situation. You lived up to the genre. The story does deliver on the premise, and the characters stayed true to their first character trait. So, I knew who was saying what based on what and how they said something versus just relying on their name. Now, if you decide to do a another draft, you may want to consider defining exactly who the main character is and what they learn or don't learn. Anyway, Good luck.

BLB

Thank you very much for the feed back! I'll keep it mine as I do another draft.


Tomas Morris