The 28th Prisoner by Sandy Stinson - Drama - The Psychiatrist who invented the modern suicide prevention center loses everyone in the Holocaust, to contemplate his own suicide. Will the meaning-based therapy he created provide him with a reason to live? 101 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey Sandy,
very interesting script. Nice title and logline too! I got to page 20 and hopefully will be back to read the rest. I found couple of small things that didn't sound quite right:
Page 1 - ‘... of a dead young man quivers in its last dance of death’ – that sounds as if he was dancing the dance of death before. I think you meant ‘of a dead young man quivers in its last dance – the dance of death’ or something similar. Or the body can quiver just 'in the dance of death'.
Page 3 – ‘Viktor hugs Johann’s dangling torso to lift the body, as if this can save Johann’s life.’ Well, lifting somebody’s dangling body CAN actually save life, provided the person has been dangling there for only a few minutes. I would replace ‘as if’ with ‘hoping he may still save Johann’s life’.

I find the topic very interesting. I never heard about 'suicide prevention centres' in 1922 before! Very educational!

I read to page 37 where the title comes in. I don't find anything particularly compelling about the story so far. I see a great deal about suicide yet nothing is tugging me along, no suspense for me to read. You write well enough and that helped me get this far.

The opening scene was well done and established the tone, which opening scenes should do. In the middle of that you have normal life and love going on with Tilly. That is all good, but, like I said, not particulaly compelling.

You have Tilly being told to survive no matter what but what is the payoff if that? There is none but the tragedy Viktor must face on his own and it serves to drive home his life's work. It is in interesting, though.

I googled your main character and from what I read of your script, it seemed like a dramatization of Wikipedia. That might seem way off base but it's my impression, not that you did that, of course, more like a cinematic book report. So, I had this thought. Since Viktor is Jewish, and he went through some horrible things in the holocaust, maybe you could play to that, what really drive home his thesis. You could dramatize elements we know nothing about. The part where the Nazi who is impotent, that was a great scene because Viktor was saved for a time by helping the enemy. And Viktor prayed for an answer to his question should I stay or should I go. It seems a wonder that anyone could pray for a good result during a time when things are bad and we question not just the meaning of our life but all life. But I digress. I think you could spend 80 percent exploring his life in concentration camps and how his ideas were forged there in that crucible.