Update!

I received a phone call from the individual who sent out the email SimplyScripts Screenplay to a number of writers on the discussion board.  He most profusely apologized for what he did realizing in hindsight (and with some help from Pia) that perhaps the email was not the best approach.  

I accepted his apology.

If you have received the below unsolicited email with the subject line, SimplyScripts Screenplay, please be aware that it was sent out without my knowledge.  

If you have any questions, please post here or Contact Me

Spam Message (contact info redacted).  

Do not post the name or email address or identifying information of the individual on the discussion board.  

I just wanted to reach out as I saw your script on SimplyScripts. I'm a full-time writer and have much experience in story structure. I'm offering my services to help pump up your script. I found that no matter your level of screenwriting experience, all top grossing screenwriters throw a second pair of eyes on their screenplay. The truth is, you’re so married to your script that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to see the flaws. Quentin Tarantino, Oliver Stone, Woody Allen, they all do it.

Screenwriting and directing is what I do. My feature was picked up by William Morris Agency and submitted to Sundance 2016. I’ve worked with some well respected actors and have been featured on a magazine cover. I’m willing to work with any budget and I’ll go through your script and send it back with a band-aid but solid notes as well. Every script is different and I can offer different levels or doctoring whether you want a phone call, notes, minor changes in Final Draft, etc.

If interested, shoot me an email and let me know what exactly you need and the budget you are working with. I'm open to any level of help but I will ultimately guarantee that your script will get a solid makeover and catch more eyes in this industry. Here are typical problems I see with new writers.

-On the nose dialogue
-Weak story structure
-No conflict/action/resolution
-No internal/external storylines
-Character Arc
-Story not sure what it wants to be

Let me know! Thanks!

Yep.  Me, too.  Marked as spam and sent to Yahoo as unsolicited.  

While I have no problem with someone looking to add clients to their personal service roster, the method here is terribly sketchy in my opinion. Don was never approached to ask if that was okay (which, of course, it isn't.)  And it's the equivalent of walking up to a stranger you don't know on the street and saying, "Hey - I noticed you have a crappy haircut. Not you particularly - just everyone in general. I went to beauty school.  If you pay me, I'll fix that for you!"

Really.

I got the same. Think I can get my three hundred bucks back? ;)

Thanks for the heads up.

He should have the decency to go through the proper channels and at least pay for advertising. Spam doesn't look good unless the service you're offering is free. It also says something about this person. Like, he doesn't have any money. Not having any money is not a good indication of quality (in a business sense). Go through the proper channels, gain real respect and do it the right way.

Dustin -

Here here.  Well said.  I agree; 100%.

Cheers,

--J

Loving the fact that he's got fewer credits than Pia and we get her feedback for free ;-)

I don't think he understands what SS is all about.

I didn't get one cos all my scripts are perfect.

Got it too. Love the spam button in my mail program.

Quoted from JonnyBoy I didn't get one cos all my scripts are perfect.

Jonny -

I SWEAR this is just tongue in cheek - but before I got mine, one of my SS colleagues had already received theirs.  My reaction: Dammit!  Apparently, he's decided that my work is far beyond repair.  (Gee, gotta talk to Page about that; they keep bumping my stuff up.  Oh, and those rascally options that I got for no good reason.  Quick!  Lemme sell some of my worn-out writer blood to pay for that $300...)  :P

Cheers,

--J (W)

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Loving the fact that he's got fewer credits than Pia and we get her feedback for free ;-) I don't think he understands what SS is all about.

That, too. LOL!  :)

"...featured on a magazine cover."

If it's Penthouse, I may be in for the $300 for a personal consultation. Video's fine.

I didn't get an email so I have no idea who this particular consultant is, but I thought I would try and help him out by criticizing his writing. Isn't that nice of me? :)

Quoted from Unsolicited Email I'm a full-time writer and have much experience in story structure.

It's interesting that you go with the vaguer term "writer" rather than "screenwriter," in which case you could have cut the mention of your experience with story structure as that would have been inferred by the expression "full-time screenwriter."

Quoted from Unsolicited Email I found that no matter your level of screenwriting experience, all top grossing screenwriters throw a second pair of eyes on their screenplay.

If you mean to say that all top grossing screenwriters hire a script consultant to tell them what's wrong with their script, that's absolutely false.

Quoted from Unsolicited Email The truth is, you’re so married to your script that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to see the flaws.

This is demonstrably false. I've never written a draft I thought was absolutely perfect. I see flaws in my own work. In fact, that's kind of a screenwriter's job. Knowing what works and doesn't work in a screenplay is the talent. I've known very few screenwriters who couldn't see any flaws in their work. Screenwriters who can't see any flaws in their work usually disappear shortly after they arrive.

Quoted from Unsolicited Email My feature was picked up by William Morris Agency and submitted to Sundance 2016.

I'm confused by this statement. First off, the William Morris Agency merged with Endeavor and became William Morris Endeavor. I would think maybe this happened some time ago, except you say they submitted it to Sundance 2016. I find this odd. WME is a talent agency, not a distributor. What do you mean they picked your feature up? And why would a talent agency submit your feature to Sundance instead of the production company? What the hell are you talking about? This needs to be clarified. But good luck with your feature becoming an official selection in Sundance 2016!

Quoted from Unsolicited Email I’ve worked with some well respected actors and have been featured on a magazine cover.

Great. But what does being on a magazine cover have to do with screenwriting? Why would a magazine even put a screenwriter on the cover? A scriptmag perhaps? Oh, that's right, you don't tell us which magazine so it's completely useless information anyway. Please consider adding more specifics here.

Quoted from Unsolicited Email Here are typical problems I see with new writers. -On the nose dialogue -Weak story structure -No conflict/action/resolution -No internal/external storylines -Character Arc -Story not sure what it wants to be

Great list. It was a great list the last time I saw it. And the time before that. And the time before that. This is just the same old regurgitated stuff all script consultants parrot. Come on, surely you can do better! Try and come up with some unique twist or fresh take on the premise.

I'm sure my notes will help you rewrite your blurb into a more effective ad. I'm always glad to help out new writers. That'll be $300.

Bre -

OMG.  I SO, SO, SO wish there was a "Like" button for SS posts.  That response has me giggling on the floor.  :))

Cheers,

--Me

I didn't get that email so I feel a bit left out.

I love Bre's response. That was superb!

"The truth is, you’re so married to your script that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to see the flaws."

He's got a good point there, actually.

Quoted from TonyDionisio "The truth is, you’re so married to your script that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to see the flaws." He's got a good point there, actually.

That's like with real marriage / relationships. If you look at the script again a few weeks later you'll find all sorts of flaws in it...

Still haven't got my email... :'(

Tony, Equinox -

True dat.  Admittedly, any and all writers need a few different sets of eyes on one's scripts.  The term is "snow-blind".  And it happens to all of us.

Thing is, that's one of the reasons SS is such a great community.  It's a way to get that feedback (good, bad, high quality or not) for FREE.  And - having done more than one route - I can assure you that "paid coverage" isn't inherently better.  It just.. all depends on making connections with people who know the craft and can provide thoughtful, organic notes that are in line with what you're looking to accomplish.  Sometimes, that requires $$.  Very often, it doesn't.  You just have to cultivate who you ask.

And one of the worst things about being in the writing biz are the number of people looking to shove a hand down a broke writer's pocket, using their dreams as leverage.    Sorry, but in this economy, that doesn't get anyone that far.  And writers who just throw $$ at various experts end up broke, used, and.. no further along than they started.  Just unable to pay the bills as well.

I don't know. This guy may be good.  But I'm certainly not going to pay to find out.  I already have top-notch people that I work with... and we help each other.  For free.  (And we don't approach total strangers and ask for money, either.)  Bad tactic.  Real bad tactic.

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Still haven't got my email... :'(

Aw, Bill - you're missing out!  :P

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Still haven't got my email... :'(

Remember - he's only sending them to writers who need help. I got two

I feel left out too.  Hey, I'm back, at least for the second.

I didn't get the spam, probably a good thing...

I plan on making a comeback.  I hurt my neck doing the last feature and have needed all this time for the pain to subside...

Yeah, it sucks...  Who knew writing could be so painful??? :(

Dan

Quoted from wonkavite Tony, Equinox - True dat.  Admittedly, any and all writers need a few different sets of eyes on one's scripts.  The term is "snow-blind".  And it happens to all of us. Thing is, that's one of the reasons SS is such a great community.  It's a way to get that feedback (good, bad, high quality or not) for FREE.  And - having done more than one route - I can assure you that "paid coverage" isn't inherently better.  It just.. all depends on making connections with people who know the craft and can provide thoughtful, organic notes that are in line with what you're looking to accomplish.  Sometimes, that requires $$.  Very often, it doesn't.  You just have to cultivate who you ask. And one of the worst things about being in the writing biz are the number of people looking to shove a hand down a broke writer's pocket, using their dreams as leverage.    Sorry, but in this economy, that doesn't get anyone that far.  And writers who just throw $$ at various experts end up broke, used, and.. no further along than they started.  Just unable to pay the bills as well. I don't know. This guy may be good.  But I'm certainly not going to pay to find out.  I already have top-notch people that I work with... and we help each other.  For free.  (And we don't approach total strangers and ask for money, either.)  Bad tactic.  Real bad tactic.

Hey wonkavite,

I'm glad you have people you can ask, I guess that's really an asset and makes life as a writer much easier. I don't have anybody I could ask, so my choice is competitions with notes included in the submission fee. I love SS for what it is, but I rarely get detailed notes here on anything I post. Most feedback is like 'Typo on page 1, I'm out', or 'I liked it, good job' which isn't all that helpful if you're struggling with a script. You can't demand more for free, so this isn't meant as a complaint, but I doubt SS can replace someone who analyses your script and points out strengths/weaknesses.

Quoted from Equinox Hey wonkavite, I'm glad you have people you can ask, I guess that's really an asset and makes life as a writer much easier. I don't have anybody I could ask, so my choice is competitions with notes included in the submission fee. I love SS for what it is, but I rarely get detailed notes here on anything I post. Most feedback is like 'Typo on page 1, I'm out', or 'I liked it, good job' which isn't all that helpful if you're struggling with a script. You can't demand more for free, so this isn't meant as a complaint, but I doubt SS can replace someone who analyses your script and points out strengths/weaknesses.

Thorsten: - an interesting take.

I kind of have done it all. I have got comments from competitions, paid for reviews, posted scripts here - etc. etc.

I generally was not happy with reviews I paid for with one recent exception where I thought the notes were relatively insightful.

Same is true for contests - I found them pretty much cut and paste.

I thought the Blacklist reviews were an absolute train wreck.

Which leaves us with SS. I am in general agreement with you with a couple of caveats.

Shorts get relatively solid and comprehensive comments - features do not. That is the nature of the beast I suppose because the site is filled with active writers and a review of a feature takes up valuable time.

SS is absolutely the best when it comes to short - technical issues. e.g., what do you think about this log line. How do I format this action sequence, etc. It has been an invaluable resource. So - I look at SS more as an excellent writing site rather than a review site.

Anyway - my two cents

Fully agree, eldave. And I like SS a lot. Learned quite much here already, so it's been an invaluable resource for me as well.

My reply was aimed at pointing out not everybody has writing buddies who are willing to read and write notes on your scripts, so competitions / paid reviews have a right to exist as it's the only source of feedback for the majority of writers.

Yup

Quoted from Equinox My reply was aimed at pointing out not everybody has writing buddies who are willing to read and write notes on your scripts, so competitions / paid reviews have a right to exist as it's the only source of feedback for the majority of writers.

Competitions and paid reviews are not the same thing. Comps don't give you proper reviews, they can't afford to.

Mostly they just want your cash and aren't looking to make a script. Who gives a flying eff what some dickhead who's never going to make your script thinks? OK, I think I need to rephrase that. Who cares what some $5 per hour punk thinks about our script? That's basically what the schmucks are paid lower down the competition reading scale. Some spotty little knobhead who wouldn't know a great story if it bit his arse, telling you what's wrong with your story? Some spotty little knobhead that can barely spell?

At least when you pay for a report you generally get what you pay for. Comps, some $5 per hour knobhead. Proper script reports can come in at a few hundred and event hey should only be undertaken once the script is optioned and you're talking rewrites.

Beforehand and there's no point. There's no point because the reviewer is not going to make your script and is not affiliated with any producer in any way that wants to make it. So, you end up with a worthless opinion, no better than your original one.

Quoted from Equinox Hey wonkavite, I'm glad you have people you can ask, I guess that's really an asset and makes life as a writer much easier. I don't have anybody I could ask, so my choice is competitions with notes included in the submission fee. I love SS for what it is, but I rarely get detailed notes here on anything I post. Most feedback is like 'Typo on page 1, I'm out', or 'I liked it, good job' which isn't all that helpful if you're struggling with a script. You can't demand more for free, so this isn't meant as a complaint, but I doubt SS can replace someone who analyses your script and points out strengths/weaknesses.

Hey Thorsten -

FWIW... the creation of my 'inner circle' was an organic experience, directly the result of meeting up with like minds on SS, realizing who I could trust for honest criticism - and whose tastes I was most in sync.  Granted, that always takes time to develop.  And I'm not against some notes.  Danny Manus, for instance, is AWESOME.  And Bluecat isn't bad (as long as you don't get a dud reader.)  So, yes, there's a time and a place for professional coverage - but there are certainly other "popular" coverage services (which I won't publicly name) that I don't think are worth a dime.  Again - that's a case of hard core experience.  Learn what works and doesn't work for you... but don't go broke when experimenting that way.  :)

Oh - and in tandem with Dustin's point...

While a great coverage guy (or inner circle person) can really do wonders for a script, I personally believe that - other than THAT, and letting the damned script be seen by fresh, competent eyes - there's actually a point at which writing and re-writing a script to the point that you vomit is a mistake.  Polish?  Yes.  Print out and red-line the heck of it? Yup, that too.  

But as Dustin said - once you get to the point of nitpicking, it's actually a waste of time to continue to constantly refine.  Because WHOEVER does pick up your script will have their own particular tastes and preferences.  Therefore, there's no point in catering to every single critique written by "Mr. Coverage Guy of the Week" (unless you already know and highly respect his opinion.) Because tastes are often VERY contradictory.  And if you take everything to heart, it's just going to lead your concept astray - and probably turn it into a Frankenstein monster, as well.

That said, pay major attention to the producer and director who likes your script well enough to commit.

Quoted from CJ Walley I personally believe, simply writing and re-writing based on feedback is most likely going to send a writer in circles or backward.

I think this is bad advice. Of course, you must cherry pick what feedback is worthy.

Quoted from CJ Walley You can visit your library and borrow every book they have (and can get in) on the topic. You can read the blogs and podcasts by working writers online for free. You don't have to take any of it as gospel, but it will help you frame all the points of contention out there, form your own judgements, and allow you to analyse your own work more objectively. But what's most important of all, what's absolutely critical and will make the most important difference in your own development, is understanding more about yourself as a writer and the fundamental reasons why you write.

That's good advice. Feedback can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses and allow you to focus on those areas.

Fair enough.

Quoted from CJ Walley But what's most important of all, what's absolutely critical and will make the most important difference in your own development, is understanding more about yourself as a writer and the fundamental reasons why you write.

CJ - this is *spot-on*.  A perfect assessment.  And - as was obviously debated in more detail... it's not mutually exclusive with taking good constructive criticism to heart.  The trick there is to simply learn (through hard won experience) how to differentiate good from bad notes... and be open to integrating the "good stuff" organically into one's work.

Cheers!  :)

--J (W)

Quoted from Breanne Mattson I'm confused by this statement. First off, the William Morris Agency merged with Endeavor and became William Morris Endeavor. I would think maybe this happened some time ago, except you say they submitted it to Sundance 2016. I find this odd. WME is a talent agency, not a distributor. What do you mean they picked your feature up? And why would a talent agency submit your feature to Sundance instead of the production company? What the hell are you talking about? This needs to be clarified. But good luck with your feature becoming an official selection in Sundance 2016!

Breanne, most of the major agencies including WME have motion picture coordinators and film finance divisions. If you're lucky to get to an MP coordinator who likes the script, he or she will circulate it among the agents who are looking to place their available talent in a film. The big agencies also act as domestic sales agents. Or, he could have meant that he was signed by WME. Or all of the above.

Quoted from ajr Breanne, most of the major agencies including WME have motion picture coordinators and film finance divisions. If you're lucky to get to an MP coordinator who likes the script, he or she will circulate it among the agents who are looking to place their available talent in a film. The big agencies also act as domestic sales agents. Or, he could have meant that he was signed by WME. Or all of the above.

If he was signed at WME, it seems like he would have just said that. I doubt anyone from WME would have submitted a script to Sundance by a writer the agency doesn't even represent, so I wonder if he isn't conflating getting some attention at WME with the completely separate act of submitting his script to Sundance.

Either way, this could have been so much more succinct if he had just said, "My latest feature got me signed at WME." The Sundance thing is really premature anyway. His script is only submitted. He hasn't been accepted. I would have waited until it was announced.

Anyway, writing shouldn't be that confusing. Especially if you're going to teach others how to do it.