Print Topic

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  The Trial of Edward Crest
Posted by: Don, November 29th, 2015, 9:18am
The Trial of Edward Crest by Patrick King - Short, Drama - To prove his love to an older woman, Edward Crest takes their relationship to a new level of obsession. 8 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: Marcela, November 30th, 2015, 3:17pm; Reply: 1
I liked the beginning of this story very much, especially the dialogue. Later I got quite confused, not knowing if Edward was dreaming or he skipped into some fantasy world. The end is a bit disappointing. Edward runs away, as if giving up on his older lover?
Posted by: Marcela, November 30th, 2015, 3:18pm; Reply: 2
Also, why is the character name Edward Crest - why not only Edward?
Posted by: RichardR, December 3rd, 2015, 4:12pm; Reply: 3
Patrick,

Comments are often on trial.

This one didn't work for me.  We have the proverbial triangle, and Edward is the man in the middle.  He wants commitment from a married woman and can't get it.  He dreams of settling the matter by killing off her husband, but when the time comes to commit, he can do it.  So, I'm at a loss.  I want to think of Edward as the protagonist, but he doesn't really act.  He's acted upon.  The wife tells him what to do and when to do it, and the husband has nothing but disdain.  Makes me wonder why the wife was with him in the first place.

You might think about giving Edward more arc.  He wants this woman, so he starts small and builds.  He keeps pushing because this is what he wants--until he must settle things.  As it stands, it's neither here nor there.

Best
Richard
Print page generated: May 2nd, 2024, 9:23am