Hi all!

Question- I'm writing a new pilot and in my opening I have a scene involving multiple situations.

CHARACTER A is doing this. CHARACTER B is doing that and so on...

It takes place in the same location but the moments are very short and no dialogue.

Would I use series of shots or slug lines? Also the main character in the final moments of this scene is in a different location...again new scene heading...or just add it to the SOS?

Thank you ;D

Write it out as both and then decide which one reads better. There's no set rules.

thank you sir

Are you writing a sitcom? Because most are multi-camera concepts and I don't know how they format their speculation scripts at all.

Quoted from Female Gaze I have a scene involving multiple situations. CHARACTER A is doing this. CHARACTER B is doing that and so on... It takes place in the same location but the moments are very short and no dialogue. Would I use series of shots or slug lines?

The above reads even perfectly fine for simple storytelling. For me, characters' actions are most times stronger than dialogue. And dealing with quick actions means you'd probably have some fine One-liners and Two-liners. The Reader could easily fly through here.


INT. SOMEWHERE - DAY

Character A does this.

Character B does that.


^^ imo there's no storytelling which could work more in your favor than having such structure  on your pages. Those pages scream: "Read me, I'm fast"

Quoted from Female Gaze Also the main character in the final moments of this scene is in a different location...again new scene heading...or just add it to the SOS?

When the location changes, of course you should use a new full slugline, IMO ;-).

I'm no format expert...

but I don't get your reversations in case of this quick and easy style.

Quoted from BSaunders Write it out as both and then decide which one reads better. There's no set rules.

Agree here - always easier to give recommendations off an example

NOTE JUST AN EXAMPLE!!! this will not be my final product.
Here was the original:

SERIES OF SHOTS
--HOT TUB--A guy sitting in an unplugged hot tub surrounded by beautiful girls. The hot tub is bubbling.
--MIDDLE OF CROWD- A couple dancing and kissing as another guy watches.
--BACK BEDROOM-- Guy having sex with a girl.
--BALCONY-- A girl taking XTC pills from another girl.
--DANCE FLOOR-- Young Woman making eyes at man who’s face we can’t see.

I know this shit is wrong!!


FADE IN:
INT.LOFT-NIGHT
Up tempo techno music blares through the loft. A lavish party is in full swing. Wall to wall party people are gyrate to the music.

HOT TUB
A GUY(20's) sits in a hot tub surrounded by beautiful women. On closer inspection we can see the hot tub is unplugged but somehow still bubbles with heat.

MIDDLE OF THE CROWD
People dance all around a GUY(20's) and a GIRL(20's) they are really into it and each other. Another GUY(20's) watches them from the side.

BACK BEDROOM
A GUY(20's) makes love to a WOMAN (late 20's). She does not seem present and he does not mind.

BALCONY
A GIRL(20's) takes an XTC pill and another GIRL(20's) kisses her too share. GIRL 2 begins to dance as GIRL 1 stares at her. GIRL 1 pulls out a pocket watch and time slows around the two.

INT. NIGHTCLUB-NIGHT
A GIRL(20's) dances alone. She catches the attention of a MAN(20's) who sits behind a rope. One of his bodyguards motions for her to join the man behind the rope. As the girl approaches the man she sees another MAN(late 20's) who appears to have wings.

Hey, Ashlie: I think you are actually pretty close. Afterall, the ultimate objective is to be clear and for the most part I saw what I think you wanted me to see. The only thing I would add is time and location.

You stated that this is at a single location. It appears as though this is some kind of sex party/orgy. I just don't know where and what time it is taking place. To clear that up I would add a scene heading and a description that tackles this. For example, let's assume that it is taking place at a suburban home. I would write it something like:

EXT. LARGE SURBABAN HOME - NIGHT

Muffled MUSIC emanates from a large two story house off a rural road. Silhouettes of people in the window evidence that something's going on.

INT. LARGE SURBURAN HOME/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Up tempo techno music BLARESt. A lavish party is in full swing. Wall to wall party people gyrate to the music.

SERIES OF SHOTS:

- HOT TUB.  A GUY(20's) sits in a hot tub surrounded by beautiful women. On closer inspection we can see the hot tub is unplugged but somehow still bubbles with heat.

- MIDDLE OF THE ROOM - People dance all around a GUY(20's) and a GIRL(20's) they are really into it and each other. Another GUY(20's) watches them from the side.

- BACK BEDROOM. A GUY(20's) makes love to a WOMAN (late 20's). She does not seem present and he does not mind.

- UPSTAIRS BALCONY. A GIRL(20's) takes an XTC pill and another GIRL(20's) kisses her too share. GIRL 2 begins to dance as GIRL 1 stares at her. GIRL 1 pulls out a pocket watch and time slows around the two.

etc.

Ashlie,

Out of interest, are these your main characters or just incidental?  I think it's one thing to show a 'party scene' as it were.  Another if you're introducing them as named characters and asking the reader to remember them.  That might help you decide which is the right approach for your story.

The MASTER SCENE is there you probably can't tell with how it's written on here.

INT. LOFT-NIGHT but maybe I should do an establishing shot beforehand?

These are my main characters and they do have names. In the scene right after this one we do learn their names and also what is really going on.

They have psychic abilities and everyone knows about it...causing a Kardashian style fame for them.

I am big on having opening action to introduce characters. And unlike with TFFY where I introduced the characters names from jump...here I'm not so sure it's necessary

I would keep this to myself but why bother I need the help right now.

Tough call to introduce a large number of named characters in one go.  Could trip up the read if you're essentially introducing them twice.  One thing to consider is the first time we see these characters won't be all that memorable to the reader if they're simply referred to as GUY 1 or GIRL 2.    

Still, at this point better to just get the story down -- you can always fine-tune later.  

I like Dave's example -- kind of mixture of the two.

Sound interesting, good luck with it,

Steve

Oops. I thought it's all in one place, no sub-locations. However, I'd still go with full slugs or mini-slugs in any case. No way would I ever throw a series of shots-list at the reader in an opening.

It seems I wasn't of help here, sorry.

Yeah so I guess I'll write it this way and see how it reads then adjust after that.

The scene is in a one location a BIG loft they all share...like multi-story style loft. And I wanted to point them all out during the first scene. Maybe I should have them use their powers more?

The only person who is not there with the rest is the last girl introduced...she's in Canada....again it will all be explained in the next scene lol....now it just sounds insane.

So your suggesting instead of a series of shots I just do scenes with dialogue. I like it...that may work for me...thank you.