The Sleeping by Brennan Scott - Short, Horror - The world has fallen asleep, only to awaken as sleepwalkers. People in a dreamlike slumber, lashing out at any signs of disruption. 6 pages - pdf, format 8)

Okay big picture I don't think you're ever gonna pull this off as straight horror. If it was just about some man and his wife at home and the wife starts doing odd, creepy things in her sleep that could work as straight horror. But sleepwalker zombies basically that roam around in some trance sleep state randomly attacking people... that is farce territory. You've gotta mix in some elements of humor and not take things so seriously.

Also might help to have some exposition at the beginning. Maybe V.O., maybe you can slip in little hints organically into the story, but you gotta give something... at least explain what the condition is... if it wasn't for the logline I wouldn't have know these people were actually sleepwalking.  

Interesting logline/concept, looking forward to where this goes.

Formatting...
INT. TWO STORY HOUSE - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM -- DAY
would be normal/better as
INT. BEDROOM - DAY
I say this because if we're inside the bedroom it's not really necessary to specify how many storys the house has, and of course e also can't see at this point... also it is normal to have a single - between the place and the time not --

Not sure why NOTEPAD, CLOCK and GUN AFTER GUN are capitalised, normally capitals are reserved just for sounds in scripts these days.

I'd check on use of -- in action lines, I think you use it correctly in some instances but not in others I think you should use ...

Re the story, well I initially liked the logline but this doesn't really come across in the script, they seem to be more like zombies or the infected from the Crazies, maybe the descriptions could highlight they're sleepalking more.

The rest of it plays like any other zombie film, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just perhaps not quite living up to the stated concept.

Obviously this is part of a longer work, so be interesting to see where it goes.

Brennan,

Some notes.

Obviously, this is one part of a larger effort.  In this world of turned off monsters until turned on, our protag seems off kilter.  I have a feeling the action isn't organic to him but put there for the effect.  If he can secure his room, why doesn't he secure the house?  And what idiot leaves the door unlocked?  Presumably, he's well versed in the lore of SLEEPERS, so why does he seem so careless?  But that's me.  I might suggest that you tighten up this one.  This guy is in survivor mode and he has done all the things he needed to do.  And yet, somehow, a sleeper manages to get in--basement?  In any case, once breached, he has to move?  

Best
Richard