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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  The Seven Lives
Posted by: Don, July 2nd, 2016, 3:03pm
The Seven Lives by Buck Biestek - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - Would you listen to advice from a stranger even if that stranger was you? A man travels back in time in seven year intervals only to be warned of an impending alteration in his life by his future self.  16 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: cloroxmartini, July 3rd, 2016, 8:28am; Reply: 1
I had to ditch the seven year thing because it only works on paper, even then I gave up. Interesting anti-smoking ad.
Posted by: RichardR, July 5th, 2016, 7:59am; Reply: 2
Buck,

Some notes.

I'm not sure about this one.  On one hand, the premise seems sound.  A man travels back in time, in various guises, to give advice to his younger self.  The 7 motif seems to come from the first encounter after 7 yrs....etc.  But the story for is the same one over and over, addiction.  Perhaps you might consider changing things up.  On the whole, this didn't work for me.  

Best
Richard
Posted by: Warren, July 9th, 2016, 5:18pm; Reply: 3
Sorry but this didn't work for me.

How does William change so much every seven years that he can't recognize himself, I don't buy it.

I get pulled up a lot for not explaining things. Have to say the whole seven year thing made no sense to me. We have everything happening in sevens, but why?

The constant "in the b.g" got bit much. I think it can be written better.

There is a lot of branded items and a song referred to by name. If you don't have the rights, you should just do away with it unless those specific brands and song add to your story. I don't think they do.

I think if the 7 year thing had a bit more substance you would have a good story here.

Good luck with it.
Posted by: Buck, July 10th, 2016, 9:40am; Reply: 4
It's make believe and it's a story. It's called movie magic.
Cheers!
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