The Dirty Coach by Sepehr Gol - Series, Drama, Sport, Black Comedy - The protagonist in 'Dirty Cosch' is either an ordinary, middle-class football fan who then becomes a manager through taking advantage of opportunities and achieves big money and great fame little by little by winning more and more games. To maintain his status, he then resorts to every kind of dirty deed to change the game in his favor.

bible - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

For the narration at the beginning, just but NARRATOR (V.O.), not any of the rest of that stuff. Don't put a colon at the end of the person speaking. And note that you changed it from NARRATOR to THE NARRATOR at one point and then went back and forth. Stick to one, preferably NARRATOR.

The grammar in a lot of your dialogue is an issue. A couple of examples: change "One of the most popular sport in the world that watched it for about 100 million people annually" to "One of the most popular sports in the world, watched by about 100 million people annually" and change "Each of us love a One team" to "Each of us has a team that we love."

Your slug lines are incorrect. For example, INT/EXT . DAY . FOOTBALL STADIUM should be INT./EXT. FOOTBALL STADIUM - DAY.

Try to avoid large blocks of text. When you have a lot of description, break it up. It looks a lot better that way. For example, when you talk about the three people on page 3, perhaps talk about each one in a separate paragraph.

I read the teaser, but I haven't read further because of how difficult to understand it is with all of the grammar errors. Fix the grammar, and maybe you'll get more reads.