Hillside by Nikki Lee - Short, Drama - A dedicated cop risks his life to earn the trust of a dangerous community who has lost faith in the Justice System after an innocent citizen is gunned down. 38 pages - pdf, format 8)

Okay, bad stuff first. It is over written in parts with some passive writing throughout. Occasionally the dialogue becomes OTN and a bit cringe worthy, it also becomes expositional in parts. Towards the end you mix up DESHAWN with JAHEIM in the dialogue blocks. There are spelling and grammar issues throughout.

The good new is that I think all this issues would be easy to fix on another read through and edit.

I truly enjoyed this. I was in two minds whether I could be bothered taking on 38 page short but I’m really glad I did. It was actually a really quick read, I got totally absorbed into the story.

I was on the edge of my seat in some parts and you literally gave me goose bumps in another.

So again, if you clean it up I think you have a little gem here.

Well done.