I am working on a short and I can't decide on what is most proper to do. A stranger walks up and says a phrase but isn't introduced until soon after. Should I use a gernic pronoun for the characters firt line or her name.

If you want context: (the formatting didn't paste right)

Perry is still laying on the ground. A girl approaches and reaches for Perry's hand.

GIRL
Stand up.

PERRY
Okay.

Perry stands up without using her assistance.

PERRY
Who are you?

GIRL
I am Isabelle Patrou.

Should I just use her name for both lines? Just the first? Or just the lines she has after this part?

You're doing it fine. Write how you want the reader to experience the STORY.

For example, by introducing the character with her name up front, you're telling the reader "important character here". But you might not want to do that. You might want to create the same feeling we would have watching the film, with an element of wondering whether the character is important. So it's fine to do this.

Unless it's a shooting draft, screenwriting is not computer code. The idea is the make the reader experience the STORY the way the viewer would. When in doubt, make sure things are clear enough to accomplish that.

Always intro your characters immediately, when they first show up on camera.  Absolutely no reason not to, especially based on your example.

Note though - Perry wouldn't be "laying" - he'd be "lying".

And you CAPS the GIRL in your action line. :)

Perry is still lying on the ground. A GIRL approaches and reaches for Perry's hand.


In fact, I would have it:

Perry's on the ground as ISABELLE PATROU (20s) approaches.  She reaches for his hand.

Something like that.

I tend to agree with Jeff here. There are rare instances where you shouldn't intro the character.
Perry is still laying on the ground. In your example - it could be:

A stranger approaches. She is Isabelle Patrou (age/description). She reaches down for
for Perry's hand.

GIRL
Stand up.

PERRY
Okay.

Perry stands up without using her assistance.

PERRY
Who are you?

GIRL
I am Isabelle Patrou.

If you feel you must keep her as Girl - then the way you have it is okay. Although I think you must describe the girl before she reaches down and grabs Perry's hand (i.e., we don't know if she's a 4 year old or an adult so we can't envision the action).

There may be reasons to not intro the girl's name right away, though there might be more space between the revelation than indicated in the above example. For example, let's say the girl is the daughter Perry never knew he had. You might wish to hold back that information from the reader for a bit, to leave the girl's identity a mystery, since this is how the viewer would experience it. There's nothing wrong with doing this. If that's the effect you want to have on the reader, why would there be any prohibition against doing so?

Quoted from leitskev There may be reasons to not intro the girl's name right away, though there might be more space between the revelation than indicated in the above example. For example, let's say the girl is the daughter Perry never knew he had. You might wish to hold back that information from the reader for a bit, to leave the girl's identity a mystery, since this is how the viewer would experience it. There's nothing wrong with doing this. If that's the effect you want to have on the reader, why would there be any prohibition against doing so?

Don't disagree . But still think you need to describe the character - stranger or not

In reality, there is a reason why you want to intro your characters immediately and CAP their name.

It's for the shooting script, which really SHOULD be easily be transformed from the Spec script.

When you have "girl" or whatever, everyone has to figure out who this girl is.  What if there are many instances where the writer does this?  Not only would it be a mess on set, but even your readers will wonder WTF is going on and who is who.

So...I know..I know exactly what you're going to say, Kevin, or some other trouble causer - Who cares about the shooting script?  That's not my worry or care.

But...the key is that you can set up your shooting script very easily from a well written Spec Script - just by doing "what's right", and not doing all the things that are wrong - like asides and unfilmables for instance.

You get me?

Quoted from Dreamscale In reality, there is a reason why you want to intro your characters immediately and CAP their name. It's for the shooting script, which really SHOULD be easily be transformed from the Spec script. When you have "girl" or whatever, everyone has to figure out who this girl is.  What if there are many instances where the writer does this?  Not only would it be a mess on set, but even your readers will wonder WTF is going on and who is who. So...I know..I know exactly what you're going to say, Kevin, or some other trouble causer - Who cares about the shooting script?  That's not my worry or care. But...the key is that you can set up your shooting script very easily from a well written Spec Script - just by doing "what's right", and not doing all the things that are wrong - like asides and unfilmables for instance. You get me?

Don't agree with the premise here at all.

Thanks for the tips guys! I think I have determined the most proper thing to do is just go with her real name in caps and give her a description. I intend my script to only need minor changes (if any) to become a shooting script. Mainly because I want to be the one shooting it, so I want it to be easiest for me, and that adds opportunity if I decide I don't want to be the one shooting it.

Although I want the feeling of mystery to be there momentarily, in the end it will be a film and will have that in it's final form. I'm not writing a novel, but a script.

Thanks again guys!

Yes, Jeff. Who cares about the shooting script? I think you have an idea just how hard it is to get a reader to like a spec script enough to want to make it into a movie. THAT is the big challenge...and THAT is the only thing that should matter to the writer.

Look, this is exactly why rules are comforting...and frankly lazy. Because the writer doesn't have to think. He just has to apply the rule.

DVS, if you are shooting this yourself, why would you even ask the question? That confuses me more than anything. I mean if you're writing it for yourself the question is pointless.

Quoted from leitskev Yes, Jeff. Who cares about the shooting script? I think you have an idea just how hard it is to get a reader to like a spec script enough to want to make it into a movie. THAT is the big challenge...and THAT is the only thing that should matter to the writer. Look, this is exactly why rules are comforting...and frankly lazy. Because the writer doesn't have to think. He just has to apply the rule. DVS, if you are shooting this yourself, why would you even ask the question? That confuses me more than anything. I mean if you're writing it for yourself the question is pointless.

Based upon the differing responses generated here, I don't think it was a pointless question.  I wouldn't have intro'ed the girl to add an air of mystery. But that is me knowing i broke a rule because I think it has a better impact on the scene.

- Don

The question is a good one, it's just strange to ask it when the writer is writing it only for himself. I had assumed he was writing on spec.

I've used this technique and seen it used plenty of times, where the character's real name is withheld for a time. It's not about writing a "novel". It's about writing a story and wanting the reader to experience the effects of that story. An old man suddenly is there and lights the hero's cigarette and says something which suggests he may know the hero. This creates a question: who is this man? It has the reader wondering...just as it would an audience. Later we learn the old man is the hero's father, who the hero had been told was dead.

If you're writing on spec, the only thing that matters is selling the story to the reader.

Quoted Text If you're writing on spec, the only thing that matters is selling the story to the reader.

Almost agree - I would say it's not the only thing - but it is the most important thing

Quoted from leitskev if you are shooting this yourself, why would you even ask the question? That confuses me more than anything. I mean if you're writing it for yourself the question is pointless.

Well, is it not right to want to be in the best practice? If all I did was unknowingly break some standards, and I came into a situation where I wasn't writing for myself, I would probably come off as a fool at best. Also, why would I want to write something wrong, albeit for myself? Have I no self-respect? I am not a professional writer by any means, but I look at writing as a craft. When writing anything, one is contributing to their personal craft. If one habitually writes one way, it becomes the way they write. I simply want the way I write to be the best I can do. And who knows, although I am writing this for myself, maybe it will become for someone else? And in a way, any writer is writing for themself to some extent. Why would one write if it wasn't rewarding in some way for oneself, even if the only reward is completing the work. Sorry to ramble, but that is my opinion on that matter.

If you are worried about the standard, I suggest getting your hands on pro scripts.