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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Short Horror / Love Bites - Filmed!
Posted by: Steven, January 24th, 2017, 9:25am
Posted by: Don, February 4th, 2017, 10:53am; Reply: 1
Love Bites by Steven Wood - Short, Horror - Jacob's girlfriend is locked in the bedroom of his apartment and isn't responding. With the help of his friend Ammon, they get her out. - pdf, format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
Posted by: Steven, June 26th, 2017, 9:28am; Reply: 2
Posted by: eldave1, June 26th, 2017, 10:36am; Reply: 3
Posted by: Steven, June 26th, 2017, 10:43am; Reply: 4
Thanks, I'm not too keen on the final product as so much of my dialogue was changed. I can understand locations, vehicles, etc being changed for something more practical, but when little pieces of dialogue or setups are changed for really no reason, I don't understand.
Posted by: eldave1, June 26th, 2017, 11:04am; Reply: 5
Thanks, I'm not too keen on the final product as so much of my dialogue was changed. I can understand locations, vehicles, etc being changed for something more practical, but when little pieces of dialogue or setups are changed for really no reason, I don't understand.
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Guess it is the nature of the beast. For what it is worth, I thought the changes were poor - focusing on her paleness was (a) a bit weird - you'd call a doctor not a friend, and (b) was a poor attempt at an unnecessary foreshadowing.
Oh well, it is the price we pay turning our stuff over to others
Posted by: Steven, June 26th, 2017, 11:10am; Reply: 6
Guess it is the nature of the beast. For what it is worth, I thought the changes were poor - focusing on her paleness was (a) a bit weird - you'd call a doctor not a friend, and (b) was a poor attempt at an unnecessary foreshadowing.
Oh well, it is the price we pay turning our stuff over to others
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This is true. I wrote this on a whim one afternoon and someone over at Reddit /r/producemyscript contacted me. So I went with it. I think my screenplay was decent enough, with some kind of-natural sounding exchanges between Jacob and Ammon...I think I've gotten better since then.
This was my fault, I think. I mentioned to the director that I had an idea of Sherri stating she was attacked (scratched and bit) by a homeless man on her walk home from wherever. She then went into the bathroom because she felt sick. In my experience, a girl would close not just the bathroom door, but bedroom door as well. So I think they took this idea and went with it instead.
I have one more project in pre-production, but the guys working on it are SAG, and the director is experienced with quality equipment, so I'm hoping for a better turn out. After that, no more turning over shorts to other people.
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