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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Thriller Scripts  /  The Cursed
Posted by: Don, April 17th, 2017, 1:13pm
The Cursed by Gunel Huseynova - Thriller - Four extremely dangerous inmates are at large after escaping from women's prison.  139 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: FrankH, April 30th, 2017, 5:01pm; Reply: 1
Hi Gunel,

I would get rid of everything on the first page, except title, written by, e-mail and copyright (e-mail and copyright at the bottom right corner).

Your formatting is not correct and it makes it difficult to read.
Get a good screenplay reference book.
Also, you tell us, instead of showing us in your action lines.
Cap characters when first introduced, ex: LYNN (18).  
Keep action lines to a max. 4-5 lines.
Get rid of "we see", "we hear". If you write visually, then "we see" is implied.

What really helped me was to read a lot of movie scripts. They are available on this website.

I bought screenplay software (Final Draft), expensive, but there's also some free stuff out there.

Good luck,
Frank
Posted by: Gunel, May 8th, 2017, 11:50am; Reply: 2
Okay, Frank. Thank you very much for taking your time to read my script and write this valuable comment!
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