Woof by Dylan Thomas Good - Thriller, Drama, Suspense, LGBT, Adapted - An aspiring director offers his destitute ex $25,000 to star in a film based on their relationship.  123 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Dylan - why written in italics????

I would also lose the camera directions

Totally agree with eldave1 re: camera directions. They make this close to unreadable.

Is that a pen name, or are you named after the Welsh poet?  Do not go gentle into that good night..."
Got to love him!

First up, the basics of formatting: Get rid of the Italics. A whole script in Italics? Nooooo. Avoid frills like double question marks. Camera directions keep to a bare minimum, if at all. Best to imply them. Action/description lines - four lines. Write according to shots. New shot, new line. Others will also advise you to be generic with music - copyright/use can be expensive. I'm not a stickler if you're wanting to provide music to create the feel/vibe but you won't be able to use half the stuff you mention. Just bear in mind.

That said I read through a bit and you definitely have a good ear for dialogue and talent re easy to read and relatable characters, and that's half the battle won. Just pare it all down to make it a cleaner read.

We're a great community of writers here on SS - quid pro quo on the reads.
:)