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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Horror  /  Buddy
Posted by: Don, July 14th, 2017, 4:07pm
Buddy by Oksana Shafetova - Short, Horror - The boy has got the pet, belonged to the serial killer, that inherited his former masters' habits. 13 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work
Posted by: Tyler King, July 14th, 2017, 11:20pm; Reply: 1
Hi there. Just out of curiosity, is this your first script? There were a lot of formatting errors/spelling mistakes. If you're serious about becoming a professional, I would go to the section on these boards about rules/formatting, or follow up on some books/other websites... It made reading it very distracting and with that being said, I skimmed through most of it... The dialogue, as well, was very...odd? I don't know how else to word it. Just didn't flow naturally to me, and seemed out of place/written strangely. Lastly, the premise seems pretty good, actually... Not all that original (Cujo?) but if revised, could be even better. I would suggest editing your logline as well, I had to re-read it a few times to understand what it was really about. Not trying to sound like an ass with all the negative feedback, just trying to help you out.
Posted by: khamanna, July 15th, 2017, 3:40am; Reply: 2
Hi.
I second Tyler's thoughts on your script. It's an interesting concept, and I think you went around it well. I liked the fact that the dog helps your main guy with his problem in the end. I'd suggest the boy fights to keep the dog in the house. And maybe you already have it in and I missed that bit - I skimmed at times, to be honest.

Good luck to you with it.
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