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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Romantic Comedy Scripts  /  One Man's Trash
Posted by: Don, July 16th, 2017, 12:06pm
One Man's Trash by Rene Claveau - Short, Romance - When a lonely man wins a storage locker at an auction, he finds more than he bargained for inside. 8 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: StevenClark, July 18th, 2017, 9:08pm; Reply: 1
Nice short, Rene. Not everything needs a surprising twist to have an impact. Good job. Sorry I don't have much more to say. It's just that this hit the right buttons, and was an enjoyably quick read.

Steve
Posted by: ReneC, July 19th, 2017, 12:25am; Reply: 2
Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's not my usual thing and I'm really happy with how it turned out.
Posted by: Simon, September 1st, 2017, 5:27am; Reply: 3
Your characters are very likeable, and the relationship between Sue and James develops well. If you removed the gay porn references, you could expand your audience, and write something for the whole family. I'm not sure the porn added anything to your script. Your title page could do with a space underneath 'by'. I have no idea why, but I've seen the same mistake from a few people. At least I think it's a mistake...
Posted by: ReneC, September 1st, 2017, 1:47pm; Reply: 4

Quoted from Simon
Your characters are very likeable, and the relationship between Sue and James develops well. If you removed the gay porn references, you could expand your audience, and write something for the whole family. I'm not sure the porn added anything to your script.


I agree, it was a fun thing to throw in there but not necessary and it sticks out. Thanks for the feedback!
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