Planning for the Past by Fausto Lucignani - Short, Drama - After fifty years and an ill-fated love story, a man and a woman meet again as residents of a nursing home. 14 pages

production: low budget, It requires only 5 actors and 3 locations. - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Some notes.

First, I like the idea.  SPOILERS Lovers who missed 50 years ago get a chance to rectify the past.  That it can't last is perhaps the wages of a man fleeing in the face of love.  And from the writing, it's clear that Leo knows he has cancer but won't accept it.  And yes, he's about to jilt the love of his life for a second time.

I think you might change some of the dialogue to bring the past more to life.  Since they're both remembering, have them remember vividly.  She wore yellow, he wore blue.  It was on the front porch of her parents' house, August, warm, humid, the roses were in bloom.  She smelled like lilac.  He wore khakis and sneakers and had started that silly mustache.

You get the picture.  Let the audience know just how deeply this memory is ingrained, just how unforgettable it is.  

I know you're portraying Leo as a selfish man, and that's fine, but you might consider him changing colors with only 6 months to live.  He won't burden her with his cancer.  It's the best gift he can give her.

Best
Richard

Hi Richard,
thank you for your reading and valuable suggestions. I'll work on more "vivid" episodes about their past...more personal little stories. I love the idea.
Thanks!
Fausto