I didn't mean to come across as a dick, pointing out your mistakes, but here they are...
You have a bit of a dodgy layout, near the top of page 4.
I like how Steve is so unimpressed by the alien, and his mum is, too. Maybe you could expand on that, and have his whole family completely uninterested, as well. (But have everyone else amazed). If you ever added to the script, that is.
A small point, but on page 6, you say Steve is uninterested. Maybe you could say 'as uninterested as ever', for the sake of variety.
'Steve begins packs' doesn't make sense.
On page 7, it should be 'Steve carries'.
On page 8, it should be 'Steve's', not 'Steves'.
You missed a full stop, at the bottom of page 8 and a few on page 9.
'Shot' should be 'shoot'.
'Possess' should be 'possesses'.
Maybe you could explain how Zandrius didn't see the bread as a weapon, at first.
You have a very wordy sentence on page 10. It could do with some commas or full stops.
I would have liked more from the soap opera.
On page 13, 'throughs' should be 'throws'.
Oh good, you did more of the soap opera... I thought that was funny. However, it is more adult than the rest of your story, which is has a kind of childlike humour.
I thought maybe the end was underdeveloped.
On the whole, however, I thought what you came up with was entertaining. Amusing things were said throughout, and you had some funny imagery, such as Cornelius meowing for help. Your humour was often silly, but if your work is intended for children, that's fine.