The Disk by Thomas Butcher - Short, Comedy - A secret spy has trouble accessing the sensitive information provided by his boss. 6 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

Hi Thomas

A cute little story. I liked the Alexa slant, although she seems to have too much of an attitude to be working as a volunteer for an organisation like that.

There are some formatting issues....There isnt a space after character and dialogue. Plus the alignment of the characters are off. Have a look at some pro scripts, there is a section on  ss that tells you the formatting rules.

I did like the sense of urgency coupled with the frustration of not being able to get to that important info. And that his boss was so old....the only issue with it is im sure this isnt his first job, so his boss would be up to date with techology. Maybe you should point out that this is his first day on with a new organisation... it would make more sense that way. His new boss is sending him info on outdated software because hes outdated himself....

Anyways keep at it....

I think Calvin would know what a floppy disk is, because I believe the secret services still use them often. (As they are harder to hack, I think). Also, I'm sure there must be quicker ways to get floppy disk drives, in an emergency. Even so, I thought you had a very good idea with the confusion about old technology, and Calvin being given the unexpected laserdisc, at the end. All your characters had distinct personalities, which was good. How you established them so quickly was good, as well.