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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  Dark, but not night dark
Posted by: Athenian, September 28th, 2017, 11:55pm
https://ak5.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/4650665/preview/stock-footage-three-players-jump-up-to-head-the-ball-and-a-disappointed-player-misses-the-ball-medium-slow-motion.mp4

The time of the day is unknown and often irrelevant in such scenes. So would you just write:

EXT. (SEEMING) FOOTBALL PITCH or EXT. (SEEMING) SOCCER FIELD - without "DAY" or "NIGHT"? And then "Darkness" or something in the following action line?
Posted by: Herb335, September 29th, 2017, 2:51am; Reply: 1
"EXT. (SEEMING) FOOTBALL PITCH"

I'd avoid using "seeming". Unless there's a need for the location to remain mysterious to the reader, I don't see a reason to avoid just calling it what it is. If the reader is anything like me, they might be annoyed by such vaguery.

I'd still try to give the reader a general idea of time of day. It would avoid unnecessary confusion, and give a clearer sense of place (again, unless the intention is to keep the place a vague as possible).

Why not use "Evening" or "Dusk"? Both invoke darkness, but not "night time" darkness. Then you could expand on it a little in the action line, adding a layer of atmosphere.

"EXT. STADIUM - DUSK

A SOCCER BALL soars counter to the radiance descending from nearby floodlights.

"

My example's rough, but hopefully it conveys what seems to be the atmosphere in the video: not quite night, but still dark enough that floodlights would be on.
Posted by: Athenian, September 29th, 2017, 8:57am; Reply: 2
Thanks, Herbert.  I chose a sports video just because I want to use this technique in such a scene myself. However, I was referring to the use of dark/black for artistic or other reasons (e.g. during a dream sequence) - not necessarily in realistic scenes with the time and place clearly defined. Haven't watched neither "Stranger Things" nor "Under the Skin", but perhaps the following examples are better than the one I posted:

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/strangerthings8338/images/a/a6/The_Flea_and_the_Acrobat_S01-E05_SS_001.png/revision/latest?cb=20160803080356

https://media.giphy.com/media/Exqxm1lymYeUU/giphy.gif
Posted by: Lightfoot, September 29th, 2017, 9:53pm; Reply: 3
Not sure if you have seen The Big Labowski or not but there's a scene in it in which The Dude ( Jeffrey Labowski) is drugged and goes into this dream sequence ....



He ends up in this blackness much like what you have in your link.

Here's the start of the scene in script format.


Quoted Text
FAST FADE OUT
BLACK

                      THE STRANGER'S VOICE
                 Darkness warshed over the Dude--
                 darker'n a black steer's tookus on a
                 moonless prairie night.  There was
                 no bottom.

We hear a thundering bass.

SCRATCHY WHITE TITLE CARD:

JACKIE TREEHORN PRESENTS

ANOTHER TITLE CARD:

THE DUDE

AND

MAUDE LEBOWSKI

IN

THIRD TITLE CARD:

GUTTERBALLS

The title logo is a suggestively upright bowling pin flanked
by a pair of  bowling balls.   The  bending bass sound turns
into the lead-in to Kenny Rogers and the First Edition's
"Just Dropped In."

The Dude is walking down a long corridor dressed as a cable
repairman.  The Dude's face is washed with a brilliant light
as the corridor opens onto a gleaming bowling alley.
Posted by: Athenian, September 30th, 2017, 11:49am; Reply: 4
Thanks, Lightfoot. Funny I didn't recall that scene from The Big Lebowski (one of my favorite films).
"Blackness" and "a field of black" is how the Coens describe the black void in the last part of the scene.
Posted by: eldave1, September 30th, 2017, 8:27pm; Reply: 5

Quoted from Athenian
https://ak5.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/4650665/preview/stock-footage-three-players-jump-up-to-head-the-ball-and-a-disappointed-player-misses-the-ball-medium-slow-motion.mp4

The time of the day is unknown and often irrelevant in such scenes. So would you just write:

EXT. (SEEMING) FOOTBALL PITCH or EXT. (SEEMING) SOCCER FIELD - without "DAY" or "NIGHT"? And then "Darkness" or something in the following action line?


Hmm. To me it is not day or night nor is it a soccer field. It is action within or against a black backdrop. Just spit balling, but I would probably go with something like:

INSERT BLACK BACKDROP

Nothing at first, then -

SOCCER PLAYERS in pearl white uniforms
fight for a ball.

BACK TO SCENE

I think clarity is the key here. If it is clear what you want people to see, I would be liberal with the format used.

Posted by: Athenian, October 1st, 2017, 2:04pm; Reply: 6
Thanks, Dave, I agree. A few scenes in my script take place in a basketball court, so I need a way to "hide" the crowd watching the game and keep the budget low. This seems to be a good solution.
Posted by: eldave1, October 1st, 2017, 2:06pm; Reply: 7
My pleasure
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