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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Comedy Scripts  /  Soupman
Posted by: Don, October 1st, 2017, 9:53am
Soupman by Christopher Donald - Short, Comedy - An invulnerable superhero discovers masochistic pleasure when a rival causes him pain for the very first time. 7 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: eldave1, October 1st, 2017, 8:24pm; Reply: 1
You need a new scene heading for this:


Quoted Text
Soupman flies over the buildings with the mugger in his
arms. The mugger struggles and grunts.


Sorry, didn't really get the point of the story.
Posted by: HyperMatt, October 2nd, 2017, 4:06am; Reply: 2
If they can make a superhero franchise out of a 'Bananaman'. I'm sure there is a story somewhere for 'Soupman'.
Posted by: JakeJon, October 2nd, 2017, 9:24am; Reply: 3
C,
I was hoping your title would lead to a worthy comedic story.  It didn't.
Soupman???

Still trying to figure out what you were going for.

"No soup for you"!!!!!

JJ
Posted by: HyperMatt, October 3rd, 2017, 7:14am; Reply: 4
Read it.
Why is he call soupman, just described as a man in boots and cape.
Posted by: Pleb, October 10th, 2017, 8:37am; Reply: 5
Hi Christopher,

I had a read and whilst I felt it might have potential, I think it needs quite a bit of work.

If you've not given up on it, I'd be interested to see how it develops though.

It's probably also worth asking yourself why are you writing something about a superhero too, because it's very unlikely to get made, cos that kind of thing costs a bomb!

Good luck

Max
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