Aborting Love - Optioned

Posted by: Don, February 18th, 2018, 5:29pm

Aborting Love by Fausto Lucignani - Short, Sci Fi, Rom-Com - In a world where humanoid robots coexist with human beings, a loveless, middle-aged woman seeks affection from her bionic house assistant. 6 pages

production: Shoestring production. One location, two actors and some make-up. - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: Kirsten, February 19th, 2018, 6:32pm; Reply: 1

Hi Fausto,

This is good, an easy read. The only thing I would like to see in it is more humor since it's a rom com..I don't normally like getting ideas given to me, so I don't want to give you ideas, but it would be funny if she goes to reach for him in her excitement and knocks a drink over him, causing him to malfunction...:)

Posted by: Fausto, February 20th, 2018, 9:40am; Reply: 2

Hi Kirsten,
thank you very much for reading my script. Please don't worry about giving me your ideas/suggestions. I really appreciate your contribution. The problem (minor) is that it's difficult to insert humor into a story, I thought the story itself was kind of humorous. I would try to add some gags to make the story more comic. A difficult task, though.
All my best,
Fausto

Posted by: Kirsten, February 20th, 2018, 6:04pm; Reply: 3

Hey Fausto,

Yeah it is a funny story and original, you can go crazy with funny, but it is hard to keep it short...and it's hard to keep it from seeming like a skit.... hence the difficulty. I personally don't think short comedies work well because of this. making it a 25 minute episode in a series works. Any comedies I've written play like skits, really full on ones..

I just keep seeing the robot malfunctioning because she does something stupid, something that can be linked to her still being alone...??

Anyways good luck with it. :)

Posted by: Fausto, February 21st, 2018, 8:00am; Reply: 4

Hi Kirsten,
you are 100% correct, a short movie cannot be really funny. There is no time to develop hilarious situations. I appreciate your suggestion, make the woman do something stupid/funny for immediate results. I'll try that. Thank you very much.
My best,
Fausto

Posted by: Don, May 17th, 2018, 1:00pm; Reply: 5

From Fausto,

"...my short "Aborting Love" has been optioned by Flow Pictures in Ontario, Canada. "

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