Dreams by Gianluca Di Tullio - Short, Drama - {no logline} 6 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Gianluca,

Gave this a quick peak and though I'd give my two cents.

First off, no logline is a HUGE issue. That's your first chance to grab a readers interest. A bad logline is better than no logline at all.

Once I opened the script up, a whole new set of issues popped up. This needs a serious rewrite, I'm afraid. Tons of issues throughout the first page alone. Why are there no periods? Sorry, but i won't continue beyond that. If you do a rewrite and fix this, PM me and I'll give this another shot.

Zack