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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  Secondary headings
Posted by: The Dark Horse, September 3rd, 2018, 12:50pm
Hey.

I recently did this and wasn't sure if it looked right...

INT./EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - DAY (MONTAGE)
CELINE’S APARTMENT

as opposed to
INT./EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - CELINE’S APARTMENT - DAY (MONTAGE)
(I really do think this looks too cluttered)

Can you do it like that? A master heading then a secondary heading. I'd move up the secondary heading into the main heading but I don't really want more than 3 things up there.

Also... when I did the montage I did the A/B/C/D method and thought it looked squashed and perhaps was too much to digest at once. Does this look better?

And some quick questions...
A secondary heading is formatted as an actual heading right?
Does establishing go in brackets?

Any help would be much appreciated.

Posted by: FrankM, September 3rd, 2018, 2:46pm; Reply: 1
Hi DH,

A montage is usually formatted more like

INT/EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - DAY (MONTAGE)


- In Celine's apartment, ...

- At a fancy restaurant, ...

- At the beach, ...




Subheadings are for giving locations with a single setting, such as

INT. COUNTRY HOUSE - DAY

Bill looks through every nook and cranny of his living room. Not finding what he was looking for, he moves on to

BEDROOM

but tossing sheets and dumping drawers does not reveal his quarry. In a huff, he marches into

BATHROOM

and rifles through the cabinets and even the trash. Exhausted, he sits on the closed toilet and pulls out a newspaper.

Unconsciously, he grabs for his reading glasses which were perched on his head the whole time.
Posted by: AnthonyCawood, September 3rd, 2018, 3:54pm; Reply: 2
What Frank said.
Posted by: eldave1, September 3rd, 2018, 7:53pm; Reply: 3

Quoted from AnthonyCawood
What Frank said.


concur
Posted by: JohnI, September 4th, 2018, 11:29am; Reply: 4
I agree
Posted by: Steven, September 4th, 2018, 11:56am; Reply: 5
Ditto.
Posted by: The Dark Horse, September 10th, 2018, 5:25am; Reply: 6
Oh right. Do you think I'd get away with doing it like the way I've done? I just think it looks cleaner. Easier to digest. Hopefully its still clear. I've more or less done it constantly throughout.

I have several montages in a character's house so it skips from each room a lot. I only have one montage with the Various Locations but I wanted consistency so I kept my secondary heading montage thing.


Posted by: The Dark Horse, September 10th, 2018, 5:43am; Reply: 7
As the scenes are fairly long - would it make more sense to scrap the montage and just slug them each as its own short scene? This might be the best choice, as more than one thing happens in each scenelet. And then I don't even have to indicate montage as the short scene descriptions should make it obvious.

Would it be safer to do this instead?

INT. CELINE’S APARTMENT  - DAY
INT. FANCY RESTAURAMT - DAY
EXT. THE BEACH - DAY

INT. CELINE’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
INT. CELINE’S LOUNGE - NIGHT
INT. CELINE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Posted by: The Dark Horse, September 10th, 2018, 7:52am; Reply: 8
Hey. How does this look?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/oyr8590kstsaxup/Secondary%20headings%20example.pdf?dl=0

Also. Out of curiosity. Could I still do this?

EXT./INT - MATT’S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

FRONT PORCH
Sean talks to Matt.

LOUNGE
Sean eats dinner.

OUTSIDE
Sean gets into his car.
Posted by: JohnI, September 10th, 2018, 11:07am; Reply: 9
I think you need a - MOMENTS LATER in the subheads as a time reference or an action to get there. Otherwise it’s a Montage.

i.e. action

Sean talks to Matt. gets up and leaves.
Posted by: FrankM, September 10th, 2018, 11:16am; Reply: 10
A montage is usually edited to have a single musical piece over all of the scenelets, which helps the audience tie them together into a cohesive theatrical statement.

Readers don't have the benefit of background music, so they rely on the formatting.

Personally, I like your subheading idea for montages, but there is a serious risk of confusing a screening reader. Or a screening reader might see non-standard formatting from an unknown writer and assume that all of the elements (formatting, story arc, character development, etc.) are too amateur for consideration.

Fortunately, formatting fixes are the easiest kind to make. It can get tedious, but it doesn't require really rethinking anything. The only REAL change is that you need at least one line of action after each main heading before going into dialogue or subheadings.
Posted by: The Dark Horse, September 10th, 2018, 11:28am; Reply: 11
Oh boy. I think I have a lot of fixing to do.

I recently did a script set in a log cabin that uses subheadings like...

INT. MARY'S CABIN - DAY
DINNER TABLE.
THE BED.
HOURS LATER

Would it just be easier to slug each one? Like...
INT. MARY'S CABIN - DINNER TABLE
INT. MARY'S CABIN - THE BED
HOURS LATER

Hmm... Can I even do "Dinner Table" or "The Bed"?

Also. Should I be doing...
INT. SEAN'S PRACTICE - OPERATION THEATRE
Or is it best to keep it as...
INT. OPERATION THEATRE?

Thanks for all the help guys.

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