Dave. Took a look at the first scene.
No need to number scene headings. That really is for shooting drafts.
The writing in the opening is a bit dense, good be more efficient and needs to be broken up. You have this.
Quoted Text EXT. ROAD THROUGH THE WOODS - DAY
STACY, a petite, 13 year old girl, rides her bicycle down a
quiet, narrow road that cuts through the woods. It’s a sunny
day. A squirrel scampers across the road. Stacy comes to a
two-lane highway and stops. There’s no traffic light. She
looks both ways, powers her way across the highway, rides
along the dirt shoulder for a while -- swerving to avoid
ruts -- and then turns onto the road leading into COUNTY
DOCK PARK. COUNTY DOCK PARK is on a small peninsula jutting
into the river |
Taking it a line at a time.
Quoted Text STACY, a petite, 13 year old girl, rides her bicycle down a
quiet, narrow road that cuts through the woods. It’s a sunny
day. |
You don't need "a" "year old" girl.
Does it matter if it is sunny or not? If not - lose it. e.g.,
You header is too narrow for the action that follows. She is in the woods. Then at the highway, then on the shoulder, etc. All minor sites in a bigger scene location than dirt road.
STACEY (13), petite, rides a bicycle down a narrow road through a wooded area.
Quoted Text A squirrel scampers across the road. |
Needed? I don't think so. But if you do, start a new action block because it is a new action. e.g.,
EXT. RURAL COUNTRYSIDE - DAY
STACEY (13), petite, rides a bicycle down a narrow road.
A squirrel scampers across in front of her. Stacey swerves, narrowly missing it.
The point being break up the action as our eyes move